The Klammies Go Uptown

It probably depends on how cool your mom is, though more conservative parents would most likely disapprove of Sister Mary's naughty take on the Catholic schoolgirl outfit, substituting the jailbait sexiness of the uniform for an equally arousing look that says stare-too-long-and-we'll-kick-your-skinny-ass. Truth be known, it wasn't even an outfit the girls had put together for the Klammies in particular, though it still would have put them in the running for Best Dressed. "We're dressed for prom. We're not dressed for here," explained drummer Amy Farrand, noting that the band had a gig to play at nearby El Torreon's Punk Rock Prom, which had Ernie Locke lined up to be its emcee. "But he's out there sitting in the front row right now, giving me shit when I walked by."

No one could give any of that to The Anniversary, nominee for Best Alternative/ Rock Band, though Frogpond had just picked up that award moments before the five-piece was slated to play. The Lawrence-based group turned in a staggering performance of "The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter," the lead track from its Klammy-nominated disc, Designing a Nervous Breakdown. Sadly, that was the only song The Anniversary played, not because of time constraints but because of the band's own volition. "I think at awards shows you should do one song and that's it," theorized guitarist-vocalist Josh Berwanger. "Keep it short and simple."

Short and simple is how the Klammies were running at this point, a very easy feat when there aren't any windy acceptance speeches to be heard, as was the case with the Best Male Vocalist and Best Female Vocalist awards. Neither Kevin Mahogany nor Ida McBeth was there to pick up the awards, though each sent a representative. Backstage, Mahogany's wife, Allene, took a moment to explain why her husband, who has won a Klammy every year, has never attended. "I think it's timing," she said. "He'd love to do it, and when he came and (gave a concert at) the Uptown, they talked to him about it. But then he was scheduling, so maybe they need to do it a year ahead of time. I don't know. He wanted to do it this year, but he's in Texas. Every year he's somewhere."

Tech N9ne was definitely present, and he brought the 57th Street Rogue Dog Villains up with him when called forth to pick up the Klammy for Best Hip-Hop/Rap Act, awarded after a tight performance by the jazz quartet Dunn-Freeman Mix. During Francisco's opening set, the comedian had observed that a lot of rappers talk about violence, drinking, and weed in the music but then give a shout-out to God during their acceptance speech. Tech N9ne, with the word "Bane" written across his forehead in white letters, fulfilled Francisco's prophecy, replacing last year's catchphrase, "It's all sizzlin'," with "It's all Jesus."

After leaving the stage, he later explained what that meant. "Jesus is good," Tech N9ne said. "It's all Jesus this year because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be doing this. I wouldn't be getting as much as love as I'm getting." Grand Emporium owner Roger Naber handed the award to him, though Naber himself should get a nod in the yet-to-be established Best Dressed category, looking very glam in an ocelot tuxedo jacket. "It was made by a designer in London named Peter Golding who was also the designer for the rock and roll stretch jeans that The Rolling Stones and all the big rock bands wore in the '70s and '80s," Naber said during intermission. "He sent this to me to get married in as a wedding present. I didn't wear this tie for the wedding, and the satin shirt came from him as well and I've got some of his stretch jeans on. It's a rock and roll event, so I'm not going to wear my normal Grand Emporium workshirt."

Of course, it was an awards event too, and one wouldn't be complete without someone making a political statement. The Klammies' words of wisdom came courtesy of last-minute stand-in presenter Don Miller from Airborne Audio, occurring after he and tenor saxophonist heavy Alaadeen gave out Best Choral/Classical Ensemble (Kansas City Symphony), Best Jazz Artist (Mahogany), and Best Jazz Ensemble (Boko Maru). It turned out to be a statement very appropriate to the crowd. "I'd like to take just a moment to mention something that's happening in Kansas City," he said. "For about two years, there has been a committee working actively towards membership in the National Association of Recording Arts and Sciences, establishing a presence, and the momentum is under way."