Alias Beings

Alias beings: Bibleman wants to move back to Kansas City -- or at least to Olathe. The caped scripture-thumper is former TV star Willie Aames, previously incarnated as the darling Tommy Bradford in Eight is Enough and the horny Buddy Lembeckin Charles in Charge. Aames lived in a country home near Olathe in the late '90s, where he launched a career shining in such good works as Conquering the Wrath of Rage and Lead Us Not into Temptation.

"He writes, produces, directs and stars in a series of videos for Christian youth, and their parents love it, too," gushes Taylor Pero, father of Aames' bride and a former gossip columnist with Kansas City's Current News, a gay publication. "The character is just like Batman or Superman, except the name is Bibleman."

Aames is an executive of Pamplin Entertainment, which spirited him off to Lake Oswego near Portland, Oregon (Pero's home), several months ago, insisting that he couldn't do his job from eastern Kansas. When Aames found himself on the road constantly, his wife, Maylo McCaslin, pointed out that he wasn't doing his job from Oregon, either. "It was like, 'This is ridiculous, we should have stayed in Kansas where we were happy,'" says Pero. "They have their house in Lake Oswego up for sale."

Maybe King James will be here in time to autograph Christmas copies of Temptation, due out December 21. Says the Bibleman Web site: "In this latest Bible adventure, the infamous Luxor Spawndrothuses the first name in villainous software, Hypno Hack by Micro Harsh, to tempt Bibleman's trusted friend Cypherand young schoolgirl Riley Watsoninto going back to their old lifestyles of unkindness." Keep them in your prayers.

Pero won't be helping drive the U-Haul; he's staying in the 503 area code. Formerly a personal assistant to Johnny Mathis ("We used to roam the streets of Tokyo together looking for pornography"), then Lana Turner (she wore "no makeup, just eyebrow pencil and a little lipstick" the night he first met her), Pero is full of showbiz tales, which he hopes to publish as a book called Lana Turner Man.

He simply must record the audio version himself. He does a fabulous Bette Davis, glaring out a window on a gray day, cursing her rival, Joan Crawford: "No sun today! Joan took care of that!"