Various Artists

In just under an hour, The Osbourne Family Album gives Jack and Kelly Osbourne's burgeoning music-biz gigs a boost (dour Dillusion, the group that talent scout Jack's been developing for Epic, appears here for that reason alone; Kelly previews her forthcoming debut with a rote rocked-up run-through of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach") while paying tribute to Ozzy (there's a blizzard of obvious Ozz here, from "Crazy Train" and "Mama, I'm Coming Home" to a last-minute plug, via "Dreamer," for last year's Down to Earth). All in time to remind everyone that, no, it's not too late to pick up their Ozzfest tix. Not to mention the fact that this mix comes shrink-wrapped in the coattails of The Osbournes' success, each song bracketed by a curse-heavy clip from MTV's snitcom. (Although if you're picking this up to hear the foul-mouthed foursome uninhibited by the censor's bleeps, you're out of luck.) How do songs by the Kinks, John Lennon, Eric Clapton and the Cars figure into it all? In order: Ozzy loves the Kinks and Lennon, Ozzy and Sharon love Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" and they all love older sis Aimee (who doesn't appear on the show), who loves the Cars' "Drive." Or she did when she was a baby, at any rate. But, hey, like it matters. As a compilation, Family Album doesn't really hold together. As an example of Sharon Osbourne's business acumen and family loyalty, it's pure genius.