Best Purveyors of Cheer

If you've ever heard cheerleaders root for "equestrian masturbation," you've undoubtedly witnessed the spectacle that is Rah! Booty. The words to this particular cheer? I straddle [clap clap clap] The saddle [clap clap clap] ... Then the squad bursts into song -- to the tune of the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations," substituting equestrian masturbation where appropriate. Unlike traditional cheerleaders, the women of Rah! Booty don't have a problem cheering ruthlessly against the other team -- a move generally deemed too opinionated for a girly sideline squad. But because these women aren't actually on the sidelines at any arty event where they show up, and because they cheer about themselves instead of about a bunch of guys, it works. In fact, during a Rah! Booty benefit car wash at Joe's Burger Joint, they wore terrycloth hotpants while screaming in unison: Goodness gracious, that car is dirty/Rah, Rah Booty knows how to make it purty/Your personal mobile unit needs a little flash/I wanna get all sudsy and scrub it with my ass/Careful with that SUV, my sponge is much too teeny/Hey, is that compensation for your bald spot or your weenie? You see? Activism really can be adorable.