A Boy's Life

Because many of his records are sealed, and because he has refrained from talking to the press, it's hard to tell how much of his court proceedings Matthew Limon has understood. When Limon appeared in Miami County Court for sentencing on August 10, 2000, Judge Richard Smith asked him whether he had anything to say. The following is his complete and unedited statement, from court transcripts:

"I -- I wrote some stuff during the time I was here for seven months of just -- Basically, I just wrote when I came to jail I was very scared. I didn't know what to do or say. During the time I was here, I did some reading and a lot of thinking of -- about God and what I did. I read in a book [indiscernible] about homosexuality and it -- and just -- and it said like people will not inherit the kingdom of God, wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lust of their own hearts to desire their own bodies between themselves who change the truth of God into a lie and worshiped and served the creature more than their creator who is blessed forever, amen. For this cause, God gave up them unto vile affections for even their woman did change the natural use unto the -- that which is against nature. And likewise, also the men leaving one toward another with men -- with men working that which is unusually -- un -- un -- and receiving -- What is it? In themselves that [indiscernible] which was met. Knowing -- who knowing it -- the judgment of God that which -- I mean, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the sin, but have pleasure in them that do them.

"All of this got me thinkin' even -- it -- it even got me to tears. I finally -- I finally realize all along I've been basically livin' a lie. I kept asking myself over and over, 'Why, Matt? Why did you do this?' I prayed to God many times and asked him to change my life, asked him -- I've asked him to change my ways. I told God about my thoughts and problems. I've asked him to come into my heart, you know. I can't live like this. And -- and two Christian men, I -- I told 'em about my problem. They gave me some -- you know, they gave me some advice about God and one -- one of 'em led me to the Lord and -- and -- I know I deserve the worst punishment that I can. The past few months, I've been sittin' in jail just thinking about -- I've thought about suicide many times. I -- I just -- First I gave up all hope that I couldn't change, and I'm willing to change. I want to change. The greatest gift that God ever gave me was the gift of music on a piano -- and the greatest thing that I have are my parents and my family. That's my -- all my family, that's what keeps me goin'. If I didn't have 'em, I -- I just don't know what I would do.

"But, Your Honor, I just ask for -- please, please give me some treatment. I'm -- you know, I was wrong and I admit I want to change. I can't live like this forever and this is it. This is my final thing that -- I -- I can't do this no more, you know. I just -- and I also asked a few people about prison and most of the people said I wouldn't survive or wouldn't make it. Reasons of that was because they said I was too soft and I was weak. And some other -- some other people said if -- if I just mind my own business and just kept my mouth shut that I'd probably be okay. And I -- I deserve -- I know I deserve punish -- some major punishment, but I'm also asking for just one more chance to change my life and -- and have one more -- one more chance. I want to change my life, to get right with God and, basically, get my relationship with God right. I just want to change. I -- That's all I can say."

Judge Smith sentenced Limon to 206 months in a correctional facility, with credit for the 182 days he'd already spent in Miami County Jail. He ended up at Ellsworth, where he has remained for more than three years. (Limon has not yet been offered sex-offender treatment.)

While he's been in prison, his case and his family have done a lot of traveling.

The Limons moved from Satanta to Larned, 63 miles from Ellsworth, where Mike Limon was offered another job working with livestock and the family could be closer to Matthew. Blanche Hayden guesses that the family visits him once every two weeks. Limon's parents donated his piano to the prison so that he can play it there.