Summer Film Previews

Catwoman
STARRING: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Benjamin Bratt, that French dude from the Matrix sequels
DIRECTOR: Pitof (one word, like Madonna; he's a former effects guy for Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro)
WRITERS: John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris (Terminator 3)
PREMISE: Jettisoning the Batman connection altogether, Halle Berry dons a Mouseketeer-meets-Matrix stripper outfit as Patience Philips, a graphic designer who gains catty superpowers.
OUTLOOK: Had this film come out in 1993, starred Michelle Pfeiffer and been directed by Tim Burton, we'd be talking megahit. But Halle's costume looks stupid (can't wait for the inevitable drag-queen version, though), the trailer is lame (she likes sushi) and Mattel recently canceled plans for a Barbie tie-in. Expect Gigli comparisons before the year is out as well as endless puns (Cat-astrophe). Sadly, this will probably cancel out any chance of the real Catwoman character appearing in the new Christian Bale Batman franchise.

I, Robot
STARRING: Will Smith and some robots
DIRECTOR: Alex Proyas
WRITERS: Jeff Vintar (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within), Akiva Goldsman (Lost in Space)
PREMISE: Smith plays a detective investigating a crime that may be the first-ever murder of a human by a robot. Because, y'know, according to Isaac Asimov's three laws of robotics, the metal guys aren't supposed to do that.
OUTLOOK: Apparently the screenplay bears very little resemblance to Asimov's book, and the teaser trailer has been laughed at by fanboy types online, mostly because the CG robots aren't very convincing. But there's hope. First of all, the CG is far from finished at this stage. And second, although not all of Proyas' films have been hits (Dark City and Garage Days failed to make Crow-level dough), they're always interesting to look at.

King Arthur
STARRING: Clive Owen, Keira Knightley, Ioan Gruffudd, Stellan Skarsgard
DIRECTOR: Antoine Fuqua
WRITERS: David Franzoni (Gladiator), John Lee Hancock (The Alamo)
PREMISE: Supposedly a more historically accurate, fantasy-free look at the legendary king of England, though Keira Knightley's tribal-tattooed warrior Guinevere looks more like contemporary fantasy.
OUTLOOK: There's a basic rule for Jerry Bruckh-rated ones usually suck, but the R-rated ones smash stuff up real good. (King Arthur's rating is pending.) Pirates of the Caribbean was a major exception, though, and with Disney and Knightley back on board, this could duplicate last year's formula for success.

The Manchurian Candidate
STARRING: Denzel Washington, Meryl Streep, Liev Schreiber, Jon Voight
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Demme
WRITERS: Daniel Pyne (The Sum of All Fears), Dean Georgaris (Paycheck)
PREMISE: John Frankenheimer's Cold War suspense film gets an update, with Washington stepping in for Frank Sinatra and Streep for Angela Lansbury. The region of Asia referenced by the title is no longer part of the story; this time, it's a big company called the Manchurian Corporation that plans to install a puppet president mentally programmed to do its evil bidding.
OUTLOOK: A president who automatically does whatever a big corporation tells him to do? Isn't that a little far-fetched?

Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
STARRING: James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett
DIRECTORS: Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky (Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills)
PREMISE: Having established a prior relationship with Metallica -- which allowed its music to be used on film for the first time in Paradise Lost -- Berlinger and Sinofsky set out to chronicle the recording of the St. Anger album and very nearly captured the band's utter disintegration on camera.
OUTLOOK: Ticket sales to Metallica fans alone will more than make back the film's budget, but word from Sundance is that the drama surrounding the combustible band is compelling even to viewers with no mastery of puppets.

She Hate Me
STARRING: Anthony Mackie, Monica Bellucci, John Turturro, Chiwetel Ejiofor
WRITER-DIRECTOR: Spike Lee
PREMISE: A corporate whistleblower (8 Mile's Mackie) loses his job on Wall Street and winds up selling his sperm to rich, childless lesbians who pay big bucks to get impregnated the old-fashioned way. Yes, it's a comedy.
OUTLOOK: Lee is often on shaky ground when it comes to comedies.

Thunderbirds
STARRING: Ben Kingsley, Bill Paxton, Anthony Edwards, Sophia Myles
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Frakes
WRITERS : Peter Hewitt (Thunderpants), William Osbourne (Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot), Michael McCullers (both Austin Powers sequels)
PREMISE: Live-action rendition of the 1960s U.K. "Supermarionation" sci-fi show in which wooden puppets saved the day from danger in big, colorful spaceships. It remains to be seen which is creepier -- a vintage marionette or Bill Paxton.
OUTLOOK: Frakes' track record is questionable: Other than Star Trek movies, the erstwhile Commander Riker is best known for directing the horrible kiddie sci-fi movie Clockstoppers.