Ashlee Simpson

To paraphrase Jan Brady by way of Ashlee Simpson, "Jessica, Jessica, JESSICA!" Expressing the Little Sister Complex in song on "Shadow," Ashlee writes: I was stuck inside someone else's life/And always second best. We wouldn't necessarily have assumed this to be true had she not decided to call her debut Autobiography. So why'd Ashlee ditch a gig on Seventh Heaven to make a record, the creation of which was chronicled on her own MTV reality show that aired right after her older sister's? OK, to be fair, most of Autobiography is about boys and stuff other than Mrs. Lachey, and besides, Ashlee is different. She dyed her blond hair black and doesn't sing mediocre adult contemporary. Rather, she rasps her way through slightly better pop-rock with lyrics apparently cribbed from her most soul-baring diary entries (such as the single, "Pieces of Me"). Congratulations, Ashlee. You've bested Jessica this time. But you're still not as hot as your sister. Sorry.