Best Case of Terror Alert Hysteria to Hit the Heartland

Back in June, local TV stations and authorities practically wet themselves with excitement when a mysterious stranger described as "Middle Eastern" approached the fire department in Pleasant Valley and asked to take pictures of the fire truck. The stranger claimed to be a firefighter himself in Colombia -- which everyone automatically assumed meant the Missouri college town -- but when his story didn't check out, it spawned an awesome case of heightened awareness that subsided when the stranger himself called the FBI and revealed that he's from Colombia, the country. Imagine! There's a country named for a Missouri town! Next thing you know, they'll be telling us that not everyone with dark skin and a funny accent is from the Middle East!