Best Reason to Get Over the Apple Martini

Somewhere in Kansas City tonight, a bartender will have a nightmare about making an apple martini. The hideous jade bottle of apple-flavored Pucker will float before his eyes, and he'll realize it's empty and that the bar is out of Pucker. What will he tell this never-ending barful of French-manicure-tapping women who order green drinks with cherries in the bottom? If more people would order libations like the Caipirinha, made with muddled lime juice and a liquor distilled from sugarcane called Pitu Cachaca, bartenders might sleep easier at night, one muddle at a time.