Night & Day Events

 Thursday, April 14
Does it really take reading all of French Women Don't Get Fat to figure out how the pretty Parisians keep their girlish figures? As much fun as it is to believe that it's a magical ratio of wine to cheese to bread, we're afraid it has a little more to do with the way people get around their city. They actually, like, walk and stuff. Shocking, we know. Thankfully, there are organizations in Kansas City bringing together elected officials, concerned citizens and experts in the fields of planning, engineering, law enforcement, public health and education to discuss ways to make our hometown leg-friendlier. The Mid-America Regional Council, in partnership with the National Center for Bicycling and Walking, sponsors two Walkable Communities Workshops today, with guest facilitators Mark Fenton, host of PBS series America's Walking, and Kristin Bennett, a seasoned urban planner. The first is from 8 a.m. to noon at Liberty's City Hall (101 East Kansas, 816-792-6000, ext. 3109); the second follows from 1 to 5 p.m. in the Governor's Room of the Olathe City Hall (100 East Santa Fe, 913-971-8969).

Friday, April 15
The dour souls behind www.thatsucks.net headline their Web site with a quote attributed to one Sir Isuck Newton: "If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off." It goes on to bemoan the fact that, for starters, ten out of ten people die. (And you will be in the losing study group.) And it's more than likely, they say, that your boss is breathtakingly stupid and takes credit for your best work; that your co-workers are professionally inept and socially repugnant; that your family is a stunning collection of ill-tempered, dimwitted misfits, psychos and felons; and that, while you're getting older and sicker, your medical insurance flat-out sucks. These plucky pessimists don't just give you a Web site to celebrate life's failures, however; they've also created a whole rotten day. National That Sucks Day, which appropriately shares its space on the calendar with tax day and the anniversary of the Titanic's demise, gives you license to be as grumpy and petulant as you want for 24 solid hours. What -- you had something better to do? We didn't think so.

Saturday, April 16
The latest installment in a series of collaborative video exhibitions curated by Daven Gee, Rebecca Dolan and Barry Anderson, Time:base: behavior, opened last night as part of Urban Culture Project's Third Fridays. In conjunction with the ninth annual KC Filmmakers Jubilee, this round's offerings include a sidebar of recent work by George Kuchar -- "a national treasure," says Gee, and one of the world's most prolific and daring filmmakers. Kuchar, like many, got his start with an 8 mm camera at the age of 12, using friends as actors, dime-store finds as props and empty rooms as sets. He's now a professor at the San Francisco Art Institute. His eight shorts, on display until May 21, sound awfully randy -- "Lumps of Joy" conflates a life-size cardboard Marilyn Monroe with giant pot-stickers, "Bay City Detours" leads to an old-folks lust-fest, and "Dreamboat" sets sail with popsicles in bed and a rooftop pie fight. Kuchar, along with Matthew Borolo and Drew Bolton, gives an artist's talk at 2 p.m. today at the Boley Building (1130 Walnut). Call 816-221-5115 for information.

Sunday, April17
The highly anticipated documentary that details the legacy of the most famous porn flick-cum-cultural phenomenon ever has finally made it to Kansas City. Page Six fodder for months now, with Legs McNeil accusing directors Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato of ripping off his 2001 Court TV miniseries Adults Only: The Secret History of the Other Hollywood, Inside Deep Throat opened Friday at the Screenland Theatre (1656 Washington). McNeil, whose interview with Linda Lovelace is excerpted in the doc, was quoted in the Post's infamous gossip column as saying that the filmmakers "made a shitty movie." He went on to say, "Those two gay guys are so smug.... They're the reason why porn people think Hollywood is so sleazy." We didn't realize the porn industry considered anyone sleazy. Call 816-421-2900 for ticket prices and show times.

Monday, April 18
Midwest native Lily Tomlin headlines this year's gala for the Kansas City Repertory Theatre tonight, and we're assuming that the award-winning performer must be a big draw for KC cash cows -- tickets are $150 a person. We've seen Big Business more times than we'd probably like to admit, but jeez. Those are some serious Tomlin fans (or, um, people just really dedicated to advancing the culture of our city). The show starts at 7 p.m. at the Folly Theater (300 West 12th Street), and there's a preperformance reception at 6. Call 816-235-5420 for reservations or more information.