Big Art

After a little huffing and puffing, the businesswomen came up with an alternative design, recognizing that the billboard would work better as advertising if it didn't freak people out.

With black-and-white photography by Naoko Wowsugi and lettering by Davin Watne, the current billboard depicts a woman lying on her stomach, her breasts concealed (aside from a hint of under-boob shadow). That she is seen from the side rather than from the front or the back is additionally tasteful. The only text is the name of the store.

The billboard is pretty. "It's a formal composition," Honig says. "Flowers, bees, girls. It could be turn-of-the-century."

And despite their capitulation to conservative tendencies, that prettiness now constitutes what Honig calls "a very bizarre form of rebellion."

So many corporations can put up textually inoffensive but visually disastrous images without even feeling the expense. "But we really feel like this beautifies. It can be beautiful," Honig says.

Other billboards could be, too.

So instead of grumbling about policies that make it hard for small-business owners to take the risk of putting up a truly interesting billboard, I'm going to take advantage of those policies.

Yes indeed, folks. Conservatives don't own moral indignation. I'm going to start calling in and bitching about every billboard I don't like, whether it's sexist or just, you know, ugly.