DJ Fuck ...

No, that's not really his DJ name — at least, not every week. In fact, this guy has a different name each time he spins. He's called himself DJ Cow Udder, DJ Poofy Noodle, DJ Lard Wheel and DJ Christ Fist, among other random, weird, sick names. "I have to push the limits of DJdom," explains John Bersuch, the man behind the curtain of obscene aliases. In fact, the guy is pretty much out to push the limits of sanity, taste and music. Just pick up the latest issue of his back-from-hiatus 'zine, Dandercroft, to see what we're talking about. Get a copy Monday at Balanca's, where each week Bersuch spins a wack blend of death-metal, old-school rap, pop, classic country and whatever else he feels like throwing down. Rumor has it that sometimes dancers show up to bust a move when they get off work from the nearby strip clubs. (That's not the only rumor we've heard about Balanca's, by the way.) But be warned: Bersuch tells us, "I might shove a G.I. Joe up my ass and keep it in there all night while I am DJing. So don't fuck with me."