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Meet the Parent

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Published on June 15, 2006

The Edgars' 19-year-old baby-sitter, Chasity Boyd, and Christy Edgar had wrapped Brian in duct tape like a mummy, Brian's oldest brother testified in September 2003, according to news accounts. When they ran out of tape, they bought more and wrapped it around Brian's head, leaving an opening around his nose so he could breathe. A sock was stuffed in Brian's mouth, which was taped shut so that he wouldn't scream. He had vomited and choked to death long before Neil Edgar took him to the hospital.

The Edgars and Boyd are serving life sentences for Brian's murder.

More than 300 people attended the boy's funeral at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in Kansas City, Kansas. Betty Motley's service had been on the same day five years earlier; the date had been Betty's birthday.

Motley served as a pallbearer and spoke at the service. He told the mourners that Brian shared a special connection with Betty. He told them now they were reunited.

"What could be better than that?" he asked.

Motley's words might have been comforting to others, but they weren't to him.

"I don't think most people, even family members, know how devastating that was to Gregg," says Motley's younger brother, Chris Motley. "When your child dies, when your perfect life partner, your perfect wife, dies, I think it closes off a chamber in your heart. And so he's got some scar tissue."

Motley blamed himself for Brian's death.

"I would put myself in his place, and the thought that kept coming to me was, My dad has abandoned me. Why doesn't my dad come for me?" Motley says. "How much torture did I put that boy through? It was just so hard for me."

Motley wondered how a merciful God would have let something so horrible happen to a child. Once again, he wanted no part of God. But he began to recover his faith after quitting his bank job, joining the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, and speaking about his porn addiction.

Motley has since married Kim Ralston, whose husband was killed in a boating accident six months before Motley's wife died. Ralston, who declined to speak with the Pitch, brought two girls — Kaylie, now 13, and Khloe, 8 — into the family. Motley and Ralston adopted each other's children.

For the most part, Motley has stayed clean for the last eight years, he says. Twice a month, Motley meets with Pastor Mark Flora-Swick of the Overland Park Vineyard Christian Fellowship. They hold each other accountable.

"I'm a recovering sex addict," Flora-Swick tells the Pitch. He says he also shares Motley's porn addiction.

"There's people in your life that you can share your heart with," Flora-Swick says. "Because of who God is in Gregg and who God is in me, we've been able to connect on a deep level and share in the grace of God."

Motley realizes that he's vulnerable to temptation. "I'm probably at the biggest risk if I declare myself over it," Motley says. "I don't flirt with it. I don't declare myself healed. I don't believe that I'll ever go back to it, because I know what a lie it is."

The Edgars and Boyd appealed their convictions to the Kansas Supreme Court in December. The court denied their appeal in February.

Motley says he has forgiven them.

"Brian's fine now," Motley tells the Pitch. "They're the ones who have a lot of answering to do. They're the ones who are miserable. It doesn't do me any good to hate them.... Grace has been extended to me. How can I not extend grace to them?"

Besides, Motley had an epiphany this past Palm Sunday. He was meditating at the Vineyard Christian Fellowship when Isaiah 53:10 took on a new meaning for him — one that allowed him to see his own holy qualities.

"Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him," the passage reads, referring to how God allowed his son to die for the sins of others. "He has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for sin, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand."

Motley realized that he and God had shared a similar experience. God allowed Jesus to be crushed. Letting Brian go back into foster care, Motley had inadvertently let Brian be crushed.

"It was special in a way that there's not many people who can feel that, feel the raw pain of it," Motley tells the Pitch. "How did God feel about giving his son up? I just knew, at that moment, my intimacy with the father was restored and deeper and better."

And now, it seems, Motley believes the will of the Lord could prosper in his hands.

Motley lives in Overland Park, within the Blue Valley School District, but his children attend Kansas City Christian Schools. Like other parents involved with ClassKC, he has pulled his children from public schools.

Still, through his work with ClassKC, he feels the need to do the Lord's work even for kids who aren't his own.

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