Lost in Translation

Thank you so much for your translations. Now I feel I can communicate with almost every Mexican I come across!

Seriously, I had to forward it to my brother because the literal meanings cracked me up! Who knew?!

Melita White,
via the internet

Kansas City Strip, July 13

Siren Song
I purchased the Shut Your Black Ass Up manual. The 20 minutes it took to read was the most informative 20 minutes of my life.

Two days after I purchased the book, I was pulled over. The flashing lights did not make me nervous as they have every time before. As the cop walked up to my vehicle, I felt this new confidence and educated boldness. I asked the officer why I was stopped. His reply was, "You were doing 54 in a 45 ... " (54 in a 45! Why not 53 in a 35 or 52 in a 25?). When he asked for my registration and driver's license, out comes Shut Your Black Ass Up. I was sure to call him by his name, "Officer ——," which totally threw him off.

After backup arrived and a brief conversation with the other officer, the officer returned to my vehicle and gave my info back. He decided to let me go with a warning and some advice: "Sir, be careful. Garden Street is 40 mph." Ain't that some $h!+.

Twenty dollars could save you $2,000 in bonds and $20,000 in attorney's fees. Buy the book. Stacey Mitchell,
Orlando, FloridaKansas City Strip, July 27 News Cycle
Thanks to the Pitch for its yearly rant on Kansas City's challenging bicycle environment. Here's hoping that, this time, the Pitch continues covering this important issue throughout the year.

The KC region is on the verge of making some great strides in improving our bicycling climate, but we need much better coverage from the news media in order to inform the public. Eric Rogers,
Kansas City, MissouriFeature: ³Invisible Men,² July 20 Urban Legends
I am a graduate of UMKC — actually twice. I guess my question is, what other organization that represents 12 percent of the enrollment gets this much publicity? As I understand, it's UMKC's fault that black men cannot or do not graduate in six years. Again my questions are: How many are attending, graduating at all, or are going elsewhere? Racism is a way overused term; walk around on the campus and tell me there is racism.

Here is a thought: Maybe black males who are from KC and are attending college don't want to go to UMKC? I can see the new signs: UMKC kills urban dreams! Sean Linnhoff,
MissionFeature: ³Road Hard,² August 3 Warped Thoughts
That's quite the epic adventure Jason Harper went on. As the Architects were saying, it's worth the short-term money loss to take a chance at something cool happening.

My band, Bodisartha, is going to Austin in November for a weekend. It's not nearly as far as Los Angeles (and we're not going to a big festival), but I'm sure we'll lose money on the trip. It has to be done, because you never know who might happen to be at a show. When you're an independent band, you're always one or two breaks away from quitting your day job.

If my band ever goes on some crazy trip, and we have an extra seat in the car, we'd be honored. Josh Thomas,
Lee's SummitFeature: ³Made in Missouri,² August 10 Well Done
I would like to thank Kristen Hinman for her excellent article on food coming from Missouri. Missouri is long overdue to have the same recognition for its wine and pork that Italy does for its Prosciutto di Parma and its Chianti Classico.

Perhaps Hermann, Augusta and St. James can be listed as Norton Classico zones, and we can list Ozark ham in the same way as these classic Italian products. Thanks to the tireless efforts of University of Missouri professor Beth Barham, this dream may one day be a reality. Kurt Kiebler,
Overland ParkCafé, July 6 Hard-Boiled
Charles Ferruzza was way too nice with his review on Eggtc. I have been there twice and will never go again.

The first time, we almost left, but my starving boyfriend made me stay. The second time was Easter; they were surely packed. Went back, waited 15 minutes to get coffee and another for the waitress to come back.

I complained about the wait, and asked to speak to the manager, who was unavailable, and they had the nerve to ask me to pay for coffee (which was $2.75 a cup!). I told them that they needed to get a reality check and perhaps give the fellow next to us a refill on his coffee and his food; he had told us he had been waiting 30 minutes for it.

If you are going to review restaurants, you should be cold and honest in your journalism. Caroline Simpson,
Kansas City, Missouri