You Can't Go Back

You can still call me coach. In downtown Philadelphia, everyone calls me coach: grandparents, sons and grandkids. I used to tell my players, "I'm called coach because if you call me Dick during the season, I'm not sure what you mean."

Dr. Hemant Thakur, 50, Veterans Affairs counselor in Kansas City and Army Reserve colonel

I didn't see being in Iraq as too stressful for me. Stress is a perception.

Fifty percent of those returning from fighting the war have problems unrelated to facing the war.

The Army can be less stressful for soldiers if they have contacts like the Internet and phones. But for some people, having that constant contact, they don't know how to handle that.

I have a wonderful wife, and if I could talk to her for a couple of minutes every day, that contact was enough for me.

"Dear John" letters existed during World War II, they existed during the Vietnam War, and they still exist. The only difference is, there is no lag time. Today, the soldier's wife gets on the Internet and says goodbye.

You are never going to reprogram the soldier by giving medication. You need to train people on how to change things psychologically. That's something that has to be done in talk therapy.

Donna Ross, 53, KKFI general manager

I kind of knew something was different as a child. When I was about 8 years old, we had a bunch of boys taking advantage of the younger neighborhood girls, playing I'll-show-you-mine-if-you-show-me-yours. My mom told me it was not appropriate, but she said it was normal for little boys to wonder about little girls. What she didn't say was that it is not "normal" for little boys to wonder about being little girls.

I got married. I had two children. Life proceeded. I really wasn't all that happy about being a guy. There was clearly a girl in here.

It wasn't until I was 46. My marriage was coming to an end, and it became financially feasible.

My new wife and I moved here in July 2005. Two months later, I left for my sex-change surgery in Bangkok, Thailand. My daughters don't call me dad anymore. They just call me Donna.

My parents didn't take kindly to this news. We did not speak for almost two years. When my mom passed away, my father didn't allow me to come home for her funeral.

The day after the funeral, I got up and asked my wife, "Do you mind if I go to church?" When I showed up to Country Club Congregational United Church of Christ, I was, unbelievably, welcomed by everybody. So I went back the next week. It was not long after that that I started hearing "Welcome Home, Donna." I'm thinking, 52 years of a life spent as a male in Portland, Oregon, and now I come here to Kansas City, and now you are telling me welcome home?

With help from the church, I was able to reach out to my father. In October, I went home to go visit him for the very first time since before the surgery.

I've got a 35-year background in radio. I worked as the color announcer for the Portland Winter Hawks hockey team. After I completed the interview process at KKFI, I felt that if I didn't get the job, it wouldn't be because I was transgendered. And to be afforded that kind of respect? It was the capper to being accepted in Kansas City.

Let's face it: Kansas City is characterized as the Bible Belt. Coming here, I thought there was going to be a much more hostile environment. The nasty term I have in my life is "clocked." It means to be identified as a former man. If anybody has "clocked" me, it's never become an issue here. No one has said a word to me. I've been very lucky in that regard.

I'm not a very tall person, so I don't stand out. Unfortunately not a lot of transgender women have that luxury. Now I don't know whether I'm all that gorgeous or not, so I'll leave that up to you.

Miguel Morales, 39, reporter for the Johnson County Community College Campus Ledger and author of articles about a sexual harassment scandal that forced the resignation of JCCC President Charles Carlsen

I probably broke the biggest story of my career while still in college. At the time, I was kind of freaking out. I thought somebody was trying to set me up. Or, if it's true, I'm in way over my head.

I had a meeting with the president, and I basically dropped the bomb. I said, "There's these allegations — did you do it?" And he says, "No," and he turns all shades of red.

Did I print the victim's name? Yeah, I did. I said, "I'm going to use your name, so what do I need to do to protect you?"

The college had this big investigation that cost half a million dollars. It's very corny, but one person really can make a difference.