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The Ministry of Silly Band Names

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By Megan Metzger

Published on January 03, 2007 at 2:26pm

Back in the day, naming your rock band was simple. You took the definite article the and followed it with a common noun: the Beatles, the Doors, the Cars. As of late, many groups have decided that articles and nouns just aren't good enough to describe their aural awesomeness. Instead, they brand themselves with overwrought, nonsensical, fucking goofy monikers. At right is a list of real local acts that ascribe to this absurdity, mixed in with some phony ones. Can you tell the fake from the foolish?

1. A Love Ends Suicide 2. A Dying Cause for National Concern 3. If Scars Could Speak 4. She Killed Poetry 5. And in the End There Was Sarah 6. Your Touch Is My Command 7. Behold the Alliance 8. Embrace the Embolism 9. And So It Was Written 10. Forlorn Hope


Answers: 1, 3, 4, 7, 9, 10 are real.