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National Features >
City Pages
Michele Bachmann, Unmuzzled
You don't need to read Sarah Palin's book to hear the ravings of a mad woman.
By Matt Snyders
Miami New Times
Pimp Daddy
The rise and fall of a chubby sex-cult leader.
By Natalie O'Neill
Riverfront Times
Babe 'n' Arms
Tom was a hot-tempered cross-dresser with a garage full of guns--and then he became Rachel.
By Nicholas Phillips
Dallas Observer
The Fight for Texas
Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison are locked in a battle over the soul of the GOP. They're also running for governor.
By Sam Merten
Stink Bomb
Abercrombie napalms the mall with its lousy scent.
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Published on March 28, 2007 at 10:40am
Hey, you, Abercrombie & Fitch. I don't mind that you market to teeny-boppers. But do your stores have to smell like them, too? Anyone who has ever finished puberty knows rule No. 1 about cologne: Don't overspray. But at Oak Park Mall, you can smell the upstairs boutique from the downstairs coffee shop. And at Independence Center, the sickly sweet scent of your cologne Fierce hangs over an entire wing, as if the store had just been hot-boxed. Zona Rosa's outside locale is worse — the odor carries in the wind like Agent Orange. This brings up rule No. 2: If you can smell it before you see it, it's either skanky jailbait or roadkill that's dead and rotting.
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