The Queen

"It's not real money." Barnes and her minions insist that no one gets hurt when TIF money gets diverted to developers because it's all new money anyway. Here's how Yelorda, a Blue Cross and Blue Shield vice president who sits on seemingly every board in town, put it at the press conference: "It's been said that the TIF program takes away the funding from the school districts. That is totally inaccurate."

Actually, Pete, it's pretty accurate. The forgone taxes represent what economists call an "opportunity cost," or the price of doing one thing instead of something else. TIF is like putting money into a low-yield savings account for 23 years (the length of most TIF projects). You get a return, but you miss a chance to play the stock market.

Sure, some areas of the city would keep stagnating without incentives. But when the city abates taxes on property around the Plaza, potentially productive ground goes hiding from the tax rolls. So who ends up paying to provide the city's basic services? Non-TIF areas. Like your house.

"Jobs in excess of 19,000 have been created." The numbers sound great, but they ignore the "substitution effect," an eggheaded way of saying that when you build a new mall, it's going to hurt the mall down the road. Textbook example: A Wal-Mart near Bannister Mall closed the day before a new, TIF-supported Wal-Mart opened on Highway 40 ("Smiley Face, Sad Face," February 8). Blinders firmly in place, the TIF Commission claims that the new Wal-Mart created 1,535 new jobs. In fact, a lot of the "new" workers just changed bus routes.

By the end of last week's press conference, most of the disgusted reporters had left to file their stories or post video of Barnes’ tantrum on their Web sites. Here's a little beauty they missed: Yelorda claiming that the substitution effect was an "erroneous concept."

Which is like claiming the earth is flat.

I about threw up on my shoes. Then I was ready to sign for the divorce.