Schoolhouse Rocks

Kids can be so cruel. So can rock critics. Unfortunately for Matt Pryor, he's going to have to face the wrath of both. The local wunderkind brought it on himself when he graciously bowed out of his old gig as an emo granddaddy in the Get Up Kids to spend more time with his wife and three children in Lawrence.

Since then, Pryor has kept himself busy with his side-project-turned-day-job the New Amsterdams. But he also has found time to release an album more likely to be discussed on the monkey bars than heard in actual bars — a children's album called If You Ever See an Owl, released under the band pseudonym the Terrible Twos.

When we first heard about the album — released in April on Vagrant Records — we knew we had to give it some ink. But we also knew we weren't qualified, so we handed reviewing responsibilities to a dozen highly skilled critics: Mrs. Sederstrom's class of 5-year-olds at Advent Lutheran Preschool in Olathe.

The kids gathered in a semicircle on the floor. Their mouths were closed, and their ears were open, as Mrs. Sederstrom had instructed. First up on the boombox was "When I Get to Eleven," an uptempo tale of a 10-year-old who refuses to keep growing after his next birthday.

When I get to eleven/I don't wanna grow no more, Pryor protests from the tinny speakers. It's an instant classic. After a few seconds, half the kids were wriggling in their seats. By the end of the first chorus, no fewer than three were doing the macarena.

"I liked the part where he counted," Kyle said. An informal poll by Mrs. Sederstrom showed that all the children did, in fact, like the counting part.

The next selection, "A Rake, A Broom, A Mop, A Shovel," cued up. Inside the house, when there's a mess/I'm the tool that's suited best/Clean the floor, kitchen, bath/I help take out the trash/I am a broom, Pryor declares. Not a lot of metaphor on this one, and the melody sounded suspiciously like the theme to The Addams Family. The kids didn't seem to notice.

"That was a quick song," said Mikey, who was chewing on the drawstring of his shorts. He was right — it's only about a minute and a half long.

Next up was the album's title track. When the owl in the song let out a whoo whoo, Rohan started vigorously flapping his arms

"Raise your hand if you liked that song," Mrs. Sederstrom said. Every arm in the room shot up, except for one.

"I didn't like it very much," Aidan said. He has a fine future ahead of him as a critic. "It was kind of, like, not very fun."

"Yeah, it was kind of sad," Rebecca added.

"OK, raise your hand if you didn't like that song," Mrs. Sederstrom said. Five of the kids who'd already voted yes put up their hands. There had been a sea change.

Still, the kids were having fun. Not every song was a favorite, but more than a few said it was the kind of music they'd listen to at home.

"This CD is awesome," Mikey said. He seemed to have forgotten his disappointment over the too-short song.

"Boys and girls, let's thank Mr. Ladage for coming to share with us today," Mrs. Sederstrom said. "He's going to leave this CD in our classroom, so we can listen to it again later."

"Or we could just burn it," Rohan said.