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While I wait for a meeting with Elder Poll, missionaries continue to stop by my apartment building, leaving business card versions of billboards posted around the city: "The truth about life's great questions is now restored." One card includes a phone number written on the back with the inscription "Justin, call us." Church telemarketers also call me repeatedly to see if I've received a copy of The Book of Mormon.

Clearly, a full-scale marketing campaign is under way for my soul.

Finally, I decide to see if one of the church's telemarketers can answer my great question: Where is the Garden of Eden? Reed, an unsure-sounding college kid, goes through the formalities: Had I received a book? What did I think?

"I hope that you will continue to read The Book of Mormon," Reed stumbles. "Um, I love to read The Book of Mormon. It's a great retreat from the many other things that aren't so church-related."

"Missouri has a couple of sacred sites, right?" I ask. "Like Adam-ondi-Ahman and the Garden of Eden?"

Reed laughs uncomfortably. "Those are sacred sites," he says. "If I knew where those were, I'd probably try and live there."

"Well, the Garden of Eden is supposed to be in Independence, right?"

"That is where it's supposed to be, right. That's not like one of those hardcore, like, you know, Ten Commandment things, you know," he says. "We don't teach a lot about it."

"No?"

"We teach that that's where Adam and Eve came from and that someday it will be revealed to us where those sites were. But I don't know that those have been revealed or put into stone."

"I'd read some stuff that said Joseph Smith said the Garden of Eden is in Jackson County, Missouri, which is where I live," I explain.

"Well, if Joseph Smith said that, then it must be right. But it's not something that comes up a lot. So I'm sorry, I can't tell you more." A week later, I meet Elder Robert Poll at the Independence visitors' center. He turns out to be a grandfatherly fellow who likes to punctuate his points by slapping my knees. He and his wife left their home in Morgan, Utah, for this voluntary two-year mission. Elder Poll is supposed to be the answer man. Sister Morris and Sister Hackett listen intently as Elder Poll gives me an overview of their church's beliefs.

"If you look on the map and such, Justin, from New York to California, this is kind of the center place," he says of Independence. "It's also to be the place where special things have happened and will happen."

In 1831, Smith dedicated 63 -1/2 acres for a yet-to-be-erected temple — the spot where I found the volleyball net. But by 1833, hostile Missourians drove the Mormons from Jackson County and, by the spring of 1839, the state.

"But it does not release the mandate that the temple of Our Father in Heaven will be built here," Elder Poll says. "Just before his coming, the Second Coming, he will build his temple here in Independence."

Elder Poll is certain that the Son of God will call Independence home. "During that thousand-year millennium, he'll rule and reign the entire world from this facility right here," he tells me. "So it's a unique place. It's a very sacred place for us, for what has happened and what will happen."

If the temple lot is so sacred, isn't it blasphemous to stake a volleyball net there?

"I don't think so," Elder Poll says. "I think the Lord likes to have fun and such. He says that 'men are that they might have joy.' Happiness and joy are part of the existence for his children."

I tell him that I'm looking for the actual spot where Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge. I ask him flat-out: "Did Joseph Smith mark a specific site as the Garden of Eden?"

"No," Elder Poll says. "He just indicated that this was the center spot and that the Garden of Eden was in Independence, Jackson County area."

I sink in my seat.

He goes on.

"I don't know that there was a special spot, see," Elder Poll says. "Not to my knowledge. Not that I've ever read. I'll find out for you."

I perk up.

"As soon as Joseph Smith comes back to us, I'll ask him, and he'll tell us," Elder Poll says. Despite his hearty laugh, he's serious. "Or, better off, even Adam. Adam will tell us. Adam directed a lot of this, Justin. We believe that Joseph Smith and all prophets could communicate with all the prophets of old. Adam was our forefather, so he'll tell us exactly, 'Oh, it was right here. This is where the Tree of Life was' and such."

I feel dejected. I have a deadline that won't wait for Joseph Smith or Adam to return. But if Adam is on his way back, I knew where to find him — Adam-ondi-Ahman. I'll have to go there.

"I'll just maintain this, Justin, that you'll feel something here and at Adam-ondi-Ahman that you won't with many of the other sites," Elder Poll says. "You'll have goose bumps go up and down your arms, and you'll have a warm feeling and you'll have a peaceful feeling. You'll have a calm feeling. That's the spirit saying —" he slaps me on the knee again — "Justin, keep up the good work. I love you as your father. Those things that you're being taught and feel are from me. They're right and they're true.'"

He continues, "Thank you so much for letting us give you a little background and to build upon why we believe these, some people think, crazy things. But they're not so crazy. They're pretty simple.... That's quite a claim, that this is the Garden of Eden, quite a claim that this is where the Son of God is going to have his home. But all of us in this room know without a shadow of a doubt that it's true, and you felt it, too."

The room goes quiet for an uncomfortably long time before Elder Poll breaks the tension with a wink.

Write Your Comment show comments (20)
  1. Great article. I've never been to Eden. It was hilarious to read how your experience with Mormon missionaries left you feeling bombarded. I was a missionary in the '90s (in England), and I often thought people felt that way. I'm glad you took the time to try to visit these places. I don't know how much confidence I'd put in 'Nephite altars' or other such things. Joseph Smith was a great man. But, it must be emphasized, he was a man. His actual writings confirm that he had no education (much as the Greek of the New Testament shouted that its authors were Semitic laborers). Much of what is attributed to him has been taken from notes left by others. However, I think that my church is very serious about your state being special. So, keep an eye out for that temple.

    Deseretian

  2. The important thing is you felt at peace with the place. That is a good place to start your real search.

  3. Well... I'd always assumed that the Garden of Eden was taken up into Heaven just like Enoch's City was... so you can't walk to where it used to be. (Besides, there's that whole angel with a flaming sword business, so I think you ought to be happy you didn't find your way to the garden).

    One way in which Independence does fit the Garden of Eden topography is that the Bible describes 3 large rivers, that flow into one river at the Garden site.

    Typical assumptions that this is in the Middle East runs into the problem that there are no such rivers.

    There were however such rivers at Independence. (Although the Mississippi has shifted away since the Mormons were there).

    Most Mormons assume that it was during the Flood that men shifted from the Old world to the New.

  4. I've never been to the Independence area before. Maybe some day I'll get the chance.
    I just wanted to add a little perspective to your consideration (and others) of the G of E being in Independence. From the Bible we learn that the continents of the earth were one until about 4 generations after the flood. From Genesis 10:25 and reiterated again in 1 Chronicles 1:19, "And two sons were born to Eber; the name of the one was Peleg, for in his days was the earth divided."

    Also, after Peleg, there is no record of Biblical prophets saying anything related to the G of E being in the old world.

    So, the Garden existed on the single land mass that became divided into numerous parts of which any one could be considered the correct general location--including the American Continent.

  5. The Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) is often misunderstood . . Some accuse the Church of not believing in Christ and, therefore, not being a Christian religion . . http://mormonsarechristian.blogspot.com/ helps to clarify such misconceptions by examining early (First Century) Christianity's understanding of baptism, the Godhead, the deity of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. The Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) adheres to Early Christian theology more closely than other Christian denominations.

  6. I wonder why you are searching for the G of E? Are you hoping to find this altar? Think it's worth a lot of money? Maybe real estate speculation? If found, I guess a lot of people and "Christian" churches would want to locate there immediately? It doesn't sound like you really want to find it to be closer to God by finding the place. Maybe you're an archaeologist or an antique treasure hunter? Or, maybe you just like playing with people? What if the G of E was originally there? Maybe you'll find out someday. Maybe this will be one surprise for you among many? I've never met a live Mormon who really thought or cared anything about this.

    We do have members of some cults (religious practice, not the occult) who believe that the wine and wafer of their sacrament actually convert to blood and flesh after swallowed. I believe it is called "transubstantiation". Perhaps a surgeon should investigate the truth. That might be an easier find for you, and then you could go about the entire planet asking members about this. Most live Mormons seem more concerned about more significant issues today.

  7. I like your article. I think you were pretty fair in about everything you say and describe and I appreciate it.

    President Brigham Young

    “I have never been in Jackson County, now it is a pleasant thing to think of and to know where the garden of Eden was. Did you ever think of it? I do not think many do, for in Jackson County was the garden of Eden. Joseph has declared this and I am as much bound to believe that as to believe that Joseph was a prophet of God” (Journal History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 15 Mar. 1857, 1).

  8. Mr. Justin:

    Enjoyed your article. I couldn't tell how much your quest for the GofE was tounge-in-check. Good luck trying to find it.

    As a life long and still-practicing Mormon, I really don't spend much time thinking about Independence or the GofE, and I haven't met any Mormons who do. I guess I have more immediate and important issues to worry about -- like getting the young men in my ward (congregation) to mutual (youth activities) on Tuesday nights. Try this -- survey 1000 Mormons, with 500 of those being outside the U.S. (since half of all Mormons live outside the US anyway) and see how many have even heard of Independence, of Brother Joseph's prophecy about a temple at that location, or of the GofE having been near there.

    BTW -- One aspect of the South Park episode that so many non-LDS writers refer to -- in the end the South Park regulars are depicted as losers who have meaningless and shallow lives. The Mormon kid comes off as the only one who has his head on straight, any ambition, and any semblence of a productive family. Maybe the SP writers and producers are on to something . . . maybe.

    Mark

  9. This story was hillarious. I served a mission a few years back, and laugh in retrospect sometimes at how clueless I was in regards to not coming across as creepy and robotic. That being said, I'm very active in the LDS church, and have tried my best to get to the bottom ot the Garden of Eden idea. My concusion: basically, there are no doctrinally binding first hand sources documenting that Adam-Ondi-Ahman was divinely identified as the location of the garden of eden, thus I see no merit in it being an official doctrine. (And, I don't think the church teaches that as an official doctrine). What the Doctrine and Covenants does teach is that Adam-Ondi-Ahman is where Adam will return to the earth as a part of Christ's millenial reign. That is explicitly stated, but nowhere does Mormon scripture unambiguously state that the garden of eden was located in Jackson County, Missouri. Other Mormons will debate this with me, and that's healthy and good. What it comes down to is this: Does everything Joseph Smith taught become official, binding, church doctrine? The answer is no, so Joseph asserting in sermons of the day that Independence is the Garden of Eden is not a doctrinally binding statement. Additionally, no living general authority has made any statements on the topic, which leaves it sort of undefined and awaiting clarification. In all reality though, the location of the GofE is a rather esoteric and unimportant piece in the story of Mormonism. At least to us Mormons. Again, great piece.

  10. Justin,

    I thought about it a little more today, why you're in search of the G of E. I figure it could be you're a herpetologist. Or, you could be a produce wholesaler interested in setting up Forbidden Fruit stands all over K.C. Strange what some folks think of these money-grubbing Mormons that they haven't done this yet themselves. Some would think, by now, they would have set up a restored G of E, with a well-worn looking stone altar set therein, and they should be selling tickets to get in to see the whole place.

    I think your real thing is to tell the world in a mocking way how robotic they seem to be with their missionary zeal in their efforts to convert you from the moment you walked in. ATTACK!!! No telling you where the mystery garden is, but just robotic-line memorized one-liner marketing to get you into the tub. Well, think about this. Have you ever heard of Junipero Serra? In 5th grade at Jefferson Junior High School about 50 years ago, one of my favorite teachers (Mrs. Campbell) taught us out of a textbook entitled "Early California", about the history of the state. Now let's preface all this by making sure you know I have a very close friend who is currently president of a RC university, formerly a Provincial in the Philadelphia area. I have had many RC friends, and my own Italian family that migrated around the Cape from Boston to SF in 1851 were RC. So, it's really something I haven't thought about in years. But this Junipero Serra guy was the ultimate RC priest who led a whole cadre of other priests to establish the entire chain of RC missions up & down the state. How did they accomplish this feat? By converting and immediately enslaving countless Indians/Native Americans to do the work. Just think, had you been one of them and your Mormon hosts followers of Serra, they might not have been quite so kind, polite and endearing toward you who didn't enter the building for any other reason but to taunt them enough to carefully craft your article in The Pitch. No marketing ("satisfying consumer needs", Philip Kotler) approach, but they would have chains of bondage waiting for you in the back room. Slightly different approach? These other readers have no idea, apparently, about the objective of your article for the K.C. and Independence audience. They've obviously never lived in Missouri, or they'd know better.

  11. Justin,

    It is very evident by your style that you are a writer by trade. One could even class you as a professional writer, meaning that in the more derogatory sense, at least a little bit anyway.

    Those in your profession actually do have to make a living writing something that well sell and attract readers, any kind of reader. I can respect the drive to put something out.

    To boilerplate writers like yourself, most anything will do, even if it is to ridicule that with is different and of which you know little about. Somewhat like a burley schoolyard bully befriending and then humiliating the new skinny kid while stealing his lunch money so that he and his friends can have their jollies on the little guy’s dime.

    What’s the harm anyway? Everyone in the schoolyard is laughing. Majority rules! Right.

    Oh yes, you are a very good writer, in the way that many are good stand-ups, actors and the like. You do craft a skillful but irreverent “tongue and cheek” that is attractive. If that is your objective, then you have met it.

    Most of all, I am bothered by the dishonesty. Humor is wonderful if there is an actual beneficial purpose to it. Your musings just comes across as a quirky theatrical performance journey using a fictitious Garden of Eden search as a base to build an irreverent humor piece on. All of which seems designed mostly to line your pockets while entertaining a few readers with a bit nonsense. It leaves me wondering, where is the real you in all of this?

    But maybe I have misjudged you. You actually may be that cynical and shallow or just hungry with a mortgage and lifestyle to support. Maybe this is the sum total of your character. How can I tell? I don’t live in your area and only know you from this piece. I hope that is not the truth.

    Maybe one of these days you can re-take a real Garden of Eden tour. One in which you are never going to write about, a journey that you do for yourself. One where you honestly go to find out why the people in the places you visited do what they do, to trying to see though their eyes what they are seeing.

    Perhaps, for an old cynical humor hack as you, that is too much to ask, where every life experience must be looked at with an irreverent writer’s perspective. Maybe it is too hard for you to step out of character. Never the less, if you do you may actually find the real Garden of Eden, where before you were not able to see the forest for the trees.

  12. Your story is an interesting one. There is a subject or word you never used in your story, Danites. Please Google that word. It is important that you do your own research about this subject. Danites were people appointed by the church to shed the blood of those who so foolishly thought they should leave the church. This was a practice which came into being in Missouri. It was not well received by the local law. However, did you notice that it was ommitted from all of the conversations you had with those who could have given you that information? Instead, Mormons try to play it off that they were the victims, they were persecuted? When a militia of people begin killing innocent people for their beliefs, or lack of belief, and the local law begins to retaliate, the original militia (and its sponsoring organization) becomes the victim? I think not.

    As with many organizations and humans in general, some people cannot handle having any power. It corrupts them. It seems that even those wonderful Mormons, as they see themselves) were greedy and wanted to always come off as being "the best", no matter how underhandedly they had to be to "show" themselves that way. Truth is always better than fiction, but truth is not always told.

  13. Gardener,

    I encourage you to view this web site: http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/FQ_Danites.shtml and not just the anti-mormon ones.

    God Bless,

    RJ

  14. Funny, my husband and I discovered Adam-Ondi-Ahman a few weeks ago on a trip to the Amish community of Jamesport. I had seen something about it in the recent PBS special on the Mormons. It is beautiful with obviously fertile farm land up there, but I have to say I expected something more. It pretty much just looked like Missouri to me. I mean, after all, these are the folks who wear curious underwear and knock on doors almost as much as the JW's. I will say I am indebted to them, though, for their genealogy sites. I just didn't see that it was any more special than the surrounding Amish farm country, however.

  15. Justin,

    In about the last paragraph of your article, you said you couldn't find Adam. Most people begin reading the Bible, and never get past Genesis. I would finally suggest that you at least read Genesis up to Chapter 5, Verse 5. It says that Adam died.

  16. Justin,

    May you be at peace with the religious crackpots, for they will never leave you alone until the glorious day Lord Jebus descends in his spaceship and uses one of your ribs to produce a underage cousin for which to marry and molest under the Lord's glowing stare. Please, take these pamphlets -- they will be your sheild from the devil's words. Be blessed, fair Justin! Be motherfuckin' blessed 4eva!!!

  17. Justin,

    May you be at peace with the religious crackpots, for they will never leave you alone until the glorious day Lord Jebus descends in his spaceship and uses one of your ribs to produce a underage cousin which you can marry and molest under the eye-bugging gaze of HIM. Please, take these pamphlets -- as they will be your sheild to secular sit-coms and newspapers. Be blessed, dear Justin! Be blessed by motherfuckin' Jebus 4eva!!!

  18. It was Joseph Smith along with the other leaders of the LDS faith that introduced the rhetoric of 'war of extermination'.

    On July 4th 1838, in a speech co-written by Joseph Smith, Sidney Rigdon (who founded Mormonism along with Smith) declared,
    'And that mob that comes on us to disturb us, it shall be between us and them a war of extermination; for we will follow them until the last drop of their blood is spilled; or else they will have to exterminate us, for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.'

    This is a direct quote from the Mormon's official 'Comprehensive History of the Church'. It appears in vo1umn one on page 441.

    A good review of the 'Mormon Wars' can be found here: http://www.lds-mormon.com/tmpc.shtml

  19. Hey RJ,

    Debunking Lindsay is a lot like plunking fish in a barrel.

    Why not recommend the work of the official Mormon Educator Grant Palmer?
    >Grant H. Palmer (a fourth-generation Mormon, Brigham Young University graduate: M.A. American History) provides a helpful summary of the enormous amount of research that has been done over the last 25 years concerning the origins of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church — the Mormons). The word “Insider” in the title reflects his thirty-four years of experience as an Institute Director for the Church Educational System (CES)...

    http://www.irr.org/mit/Insiders-View-of-Mormon-Origins.html
    http://www.lds-mormon.com/insiders_view.shtml

    A lot of the best 'anit-Mormon' stuff out there comes directly from the the offical Mormon histories.

    For example, Joseph Smith published at least four very different versions of the story of how God choose him as his prophet...

    "The 8th and final chapter consist of Joseph Smith’s four First Vision accounts recorded during 1832, 1835, 1838 and 1842. The foundational importance of the First Vision for the LDS Church cannot be over emphasized. Current LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley declares:

    Our whole strength rests on the validity of that vision. It either occurred or it did not. If it did not, then this work is a fraud. (Salt Lake Tribune, October 7, 2002)"

    Some how Plamer has remained a Mormon. The power of double-think is never to be underestimated.

  20. Okay, first of all, i have lived in blue springs for 20 years and so far, i haven't come across any Garden of Eden. I have been a christian for 15 years, and i have never heard anything as rediculous as someone saying that the Garden of Eden is in Independence. The Only garden coming out of independence is Marijuana gardens. Hence the name. #1 drug city in the nation.

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