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"Lord bless you," he says. Rain-soaked Missouri Highway 13 twists past farmhouses with American flags waving proudly out front, corn stalks standing at attention and burned-out buses and cars. If I can't find the Garden of Eden, maybe the Holy Ghost will testify to my spirit and I'll feel the peace and goose bumps at Adam-ondi-Ahman that Elder Poll promised.

In May 1838, Joseph Smith received a revelation near Spring Hill, Missouri, that he was at the site of Adam and Eve's exile from the Garden of Eden. Smith called the valley Adam-ondi-Ahman, which Mormon scholars have translated as "Valley of God, where Adam dwelt." Smith said Adam would return to Adam-ondi-Ahman just before the Second Coming.

Today, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints owns about 3,500 acres in this rural valley, most of which it rents to farmers. Farmhouses sit off long gravel driveways along the country road. Barbed wire connects the fence posts, which are painted white for purity along the roadside. Cattle graze in the barren fields. Trees blossom.

The elders at Adam-ondi-Ahman are skittish and tight-lipped. One, who asked to remain anonymous, tells me the church stresses that the job at hand is to beautify and maintain Adam-ondi-Ahman, not to publicize or talk to the press. Not that publicity is necessary; as I arrive, a tour bus idles near the entrance and tourists snap photos of the giant sign pointing toward the Mormon holy ground.

I'm here to meet an elder for a guided tour. But when I ring the bell at his home, he hasn't returned from his dental appointment. Instead, his wife gives me a couple of printouts about Adam-ondi-Ahman's history. I take the information and begin my search for Adam and his lost stone altar, upon which, Joseph Smith claimed, Adam had offered sacrifices to God.

The gravel road horseshoes around Adam-ondi-Ahman. I begin my search at Tower Hill Valley Overlook. I start walking on a trail toward the overlook when a pickup truck parks next to my car. It's the elder, who starts grumbling about "chiggers and ticks." They're bad this season, he says. The elder and his wife are one of 11 retired missionary couples who have agreed to care for Adam-ondi-Ahman over the summer.

About seven weeks ago, the valley was flooded with 10 feet of water, he says. The water has since receded, leaving an opulent green pasture. It looks like a Thomas Kinkade painting.

The elder leads me down a rocky path toward a jagged horizontal boulder. This is "The Preacher's Rock," so named because Mormons used to stand on the rock to proselytize to those in the lower valley. "There's a special significance and a special spirit here that's enjoyable," the elder says.

The elder leads me to a square stone buried in a mound of dirt. He says it was likely a Nephite altar. I ask him about Adam's altar and show him a photo I found on the Internet of a man standing behind a tree surrounded by stones. The photo appeared in the book Joseph Smith Begins His Work: Volume 1.

The elder cracks up when he sees the photo. He says the farmers near Adam-ondi-Ahman joke that they dump their rocks here and Mormons swipe them because they think they're sacred stones.

The elder asks what sparked my interest in Adam-ondi-Ahman. I explain that I'm looking for the Garden of Eden because of Mitt Romney's candidacy for the presidency. The elder likes Romney, says he'd be good for the country, though he's not political enough to win the White House.

After that, he leaves me to explore the rest of Adam-ondi-Ahman alone. I drive to the other lookout. There's no one there. It's serene. Birds chirp. Bugs whiz past my head. I see an eagle soaring in the distance. I feel at peace with the place.

Then frustration begins to creep in. I'm no closer to the Garden of Eden. Adam isn't here. Neither is his altar.

I sit in the grass among the trees and wait for the goose bumps that just won't come.

Write Your Comment show comments (20)

  1. Great article. I've never been to Eden. It was hilarious to read how your experience with Mormon missionaries left you feeling bombarded. I was a missionary in the '90s (in England), and I often thought people felt that way. I'm glad you took the time to try to visit these places. I don't know how much confidence I'd put in 'Nephite altars' or other such things. Joseph Smith was a great man. But, it must be emphasized, he was a man. His actual writings confirm that he had no education (much as the Greek of the New Testament shouted that its authors were Semitic laborers). Much of what is attributed to him has been taken from notes left by others. However, I think that my church is very serious about your state being special. So, keep an eye out for that temple.

    Deseretian

    Comment by Deseretian — September 6, 2007 @ 02:09PM

  2. The important thing is you felt at peace with the place. That is a good place to start your real search.

    Comment by Larry Ogan — September 6, 2007 @ 04:33PM

  3. Well... I'd always assumed that the Garden of Eden was taken up into Heaven just like Enoch's City was... so you can't walk to where it used to be. (Besides, there's that whole angel with a flaming sword business, so I think you ought to be happy you didn't find your way to the garden).

    One way in which Independence does fit the Garden of Eden topography is that the Bible describes 3 large rivers, that flow into one river at the Garden site.

    Typical assumptions that this is in the Middle East runs into the problem that there are no such rivers.

    There were however such rivers at Independence. (Although the Mississippi has shifted away since the Mormons were there).

    Most Mormons assume that it was during the Flood that men shifted from the Old world to the New.

    Comment by Daniel — September 6, 2007 @ 11:08PM

  4. I've never been to the Independence area before. Maybe some day I'll get the chance.
    I just wanted to add a little perspective to your consideration (and others) of the G of E being in Independence. From the Bible we learn that the continents of the earth were one until about 4 generations after the flood. From Genesis 10:25 and reiterated again in 1 Chronicles 1:19, "And two sons were born to Eber; the name of the one was Peleg, for in his days was the earth divided."

    Also, after Peleg, there is no record of Biblical prophets saying anything related to the G of E being in the old world.

    So, the Garden existed on the single land mass that became divided into numerous parts of which any one could be considered the correct general location--including the American Continent.

    Comment by Jon H — September 6, 2007 @ 11:31PM

  5. The Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) is often misunderstood . . Some accuse the Church of not believing in Christ and, therefore, not being a Christian religion . . http://mormonsarechristian.blogspot.com/ helps to clarify such misconceptions by examining early (First Century) Christianity's understanding of baptism, the Godhead, the deity of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. The Church of Jesus Christ (LDS) adheres to Early Christian theology more closely than other Christian denominations.

    Comment by Bot — September 7, 2007 @ 05:06AM

  6. I wonder why you are searching for the G of E? Are you hoping to find this altar? Think it's worth a lot of money? Maybe real estate speculation? If found, I guess a lot of people and "Christian" churches would want to locate there immediately? It doesn't sound like you really want to find it to be closer to God by finding the place. Maybe you're an archaeologist or an antique treasure hunter? Or, maybe you just like playing with people? What if the G of E was originally there? Maybe you'll find out someday. Maybe this will be one surprise for you among many? I've never met a live Mormon who really thought or cared anything about this.

    We do have members of some cults (religious practice, not the occult) who believe that the wine and wafer of their sacrament actually convert to blood and flesh after swallowed. I believe it is called "transubstantiation". Perhaps a surgeon should investigate the truth. That might be an easier find for you, and then you could go about the entire planet asking members about this. Most live Mormons seem more concerned about more significant issues today.

    Comment by Steve Sampson — September 7, 2007 @ 06:43AM

  7. I like your article. I think you were pretty fair in about everything you say and describe and I appreciate it.

    President Brigham Young

    “I have never been in Jackson County, now it is a pleasant thing to think of and to know where the garden of Eden was. Did you ever think of it? I do not think many do, for in Jackson County was the garden of Eden. Joseph has declared this and I am as much bound to believe that as to believe that Joseph was a prophet of God” (Journal History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 15 Mar. 1857, 1).

    Comment by Ryan — September 7, 2007 @ 08:46AM

  8. Mr. Justin:

    Enjoyed your article. I couldn't tell how much your quest for the GofE was tounge-in-check. Good luck trying to find it.

    As a life long and still-practicing Mormon, I really don't spend much time thinking about Independence or the GofE, and I haven't met any Mormons who do. I guess I have more immediate and important issues to worry about -- like getting the young men in my ward (congregation) to mutual (youth activities) on Tuesday nights. Try this -- survey 1000 Mormons, with 500 of those being outside the U.S. (since half of all Mormons live outside the US anyway) and see how many have even heard of Independence, of Brother Joseph's prophecy about a temple at that location, or of the GofE having been near there.

    BTW -- One aspect of the South Park episode that so many non-LDS writers refer to -- in the end the South Park regulars are depicted as losers who have meaningless and shallow lives. The Mormon kid comes off as the only one who has his head on straight, any ambition, and any semblence of a productive family. Maybe the SP writers and producers are on to something . . . maybe.

    Mark

    Comment by Mark — September 7, 2007 @ 10:35AM

  9. This story was hillarious. I served a mission a few years back, and laugh in retrospect sometimes at how clueless I was in regards to not coming across as creepy and robotic. That being said, I'm very active in the LDS church, and have tried my best to get to the bottom ot the Garden of Eden idea. My concusion: basically, there are no doctrinally binding first hand sources documenting that Adam-Ondi-Ahman was divinely identified as the location of the garden of eden, thus I see no merit in it being an official doctrine. (And, I don't think the church teaches that as an official doctrine). What the Doctrine and Covenants does teach is that Adam-Ondi-Ahman is where Adam will return to the earth as a part of Christ's millenial reign. That is explicitly stated, but nowhere does Mormon scripture unambiguously state that the garden of eden was located in Jackson County, Missouri. Other Mormons will debate this with me, and that's healthy and good. What it comes down to is this: Does everything Joseph Smith taught become official, binding, church doctrine? The answer is no, so Joseph asserting in sermons of the day that Independence is the Garden of Eden is not a doctrinally binding statement. Additionally, no living general authority has made any statements on the topic, which leaves it sort of undefined and awaiting clarification. In all reality though, the location of the GofE is a rather esoteric and unimportant piece in the story of Mormonism. At least to us Mormons. Again, great piece.

    Comment by W — September 7, 2007 @ 04:37PM

  10. Justin,

    I thought about it a little more today, why you're in search of the G of E. I figure it could be you're a herpetologist. Or, you could be a produce wholesaler interested in setting up Forbidden Fruit stands all over K.C. Strange what some folks think of these money-grubbing Mormons that they haven't done this yet themselves. Some would think, by now, they would have set up a restored G of E, with a well-worn looking stone altar set therein, and they should be selling tickets to get in to see the whole place.

    I think your real thing is to tell the world in a mocking way how robotic they seem to be with their missionary zeal in their efforts to convert you from the moment you walked in. ATTACK!!! No telling you where the mystery garden is, but just robotic-line memorized one-liner marketing to get you into the tub. Well, think about this. Have you ever heard of Junipero Serra? In 5th grade at Jefferson Junior High School about 50 years ago, one of my favorite teachers (Mrs. Campbell) taught us out of a textbook entitled "Early California", about the history of the state. Now let's preface all this by making sure you know I have a very close friend who is currently president of a RC university, formerly a Provincial in the Philadelphia area. I have had many RC friends, and my own Italian family that migrated around the Cape from Boston to SF in 1851 were RC. So, it's really something I haven't thought about in years. But this Junipero Serra guy was the ultimate RC priest who led a whole cadre of other priests to establish the entire chain of RC missions up & down the state. How did they accomplish this feat? By converting and immediately enslaving countless Indians/Native Americans to do the work. Just think, had you been one of them and your Mormon hosts followers of Serra, they might not have been quite so kind, polite and endearing toward you who didn't enter the building for any other reason but to taunt them enough to carefully craft your article in The Pitch. No marketing ("satisfying consumer needs", Philip Kotler) approach, but they would have chains of bondage waiting for you in the back room. Slightly different approach? These other readers have no idea, apparently, about the objective of your article for the K.C. and Independence audience. They've obviously never lived in Missouri, or they'd know better.

    Comment by Steve Sampson — September 7, 2007 @ 04:38PM

  11. Justin,

    It is very evident by your style that you are a writer by trade. One could even class you as a professional writer, meaning that in the more derogatory sense, at least a little bit anyway.

    Those in your profession actually do have to make a living writing something that well sell and attract readers, any kind of reader. I can respect the drive to put something out.

    To boilerplate writers like yourself, most anything will do, even if it is to ridicule that with is different and of which you know little about. Somewhat like a burley schoolyard bully befriending and then humiliating the new skinny kid while stealing his lunch money so that he and his friends can have their jollies on the little guy’s dime.

    What’s the harm anyway? Everyone in the schoolyard is laughing. Majority rules! Right.

    Oh yes, you are a very good writer, in the way that many are good stand-ups, actors and the like. You do craft a skillful but irreverent “tongue and cheek” that is attractive. If that is your objective, then you have met it.

    Most of all, I am bothered by the dishonesty. Humor is wonderful if there is an actual beneficial purpose to it. Your musings just comes across as a quirky theatrical performance journey using a fictitious Garden of Eden search as a base to build an irreverent humor piece on. All of which seems designed mostly to line your pockets while entertaining a few readers with a bit nonsense. It leaves me wondering, where is the real you in all of this?

    But maybe I have misjudged you. You actually may be that cynical and shallow or just hungry with a mortgage and lifestyle to support. Maybe this is the sum total of your character. How can I tell? I don’t live in your area and only know you from this piece. I hope that is not the truth.

    Maybe one of these days you can re-take a real Garden of Eden tour. One in which you are never going to write about, a journey that you do for yourself. One where you honestly go to find out why the people in the places you visited do what they do, to trying to see though their eyes what they are seeing.

    Perhaps, for an old cynical humor hack as you, that is too much to ask, where every life experience must be looked at with an irreverent writer’s perspective. Maybe it is too hard for you to step out of character. Never the less, if you do you may actually find the real Garden of Eden, where before you were not able to see the forest for the trees.

    Comment by Hoss — September 7, 2007 @ 06:17PM

  12. Your story is an interesting one. There is a subject or word you never used in your story, Danites. Please Google that word. It is important that you do your own research about this subject. Danites were people appointed by the church to shed the blood of those who so foolishly thought they should leave the church. This was a practice which came into being in Missouri. It was not well received by the local law. However, did you notice that it was ommitted from all of the conversations you had with those who could have given you that information? Instead, Mormons try to play it off that they were the victims, they were persecuted? When a militia of people begin killing innocent people for their beliefs, or lack of belief, and the local law begins to retaliate, the original militia (and its sponsoring organization) becomes the victim? I think not.

    As with many organizations and humans in general, some people cannot handle having any power. It corrupts them. It seems that even those wonderful Mormons, as they see themselves) were greedy and wanted to always come off as being "the best", no matter how underhandedly they had to be to "show" themselves that way. Truth is always better than fiction, but truth is not always told.

    Comment by A Gardener — September 8, 2007 @ 07:22AM

  13. Gardener,

    I encourage you to view this web site: http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/FQ_Danites.shtml and not just the anti-mormon ones.

    God Bless,

    RJ

    Comment by RJ — September 8, 2007 @ 03:51PM

  14. Funny, my husband and I discovered Adam-Ondi-Ahman a few weeks ago on a trip to the Amish community of Jamesport. I had seen something about it in the recent PBS special on the Mormons. It is beautiful with obviously fertile farm land up there, but I have to say I expected something more. It pretty much just looked like Missouri to me. I mean, after all, these are the folks who wear curious underwear and knock on doors almost as much as the JW's. I will say I am indebted to them, though, for their genealogy sites. I just didn't see that it was any more special than the surrounding Amish farm country, however.

    Comment by Julie Hines — September 8, 2007 @ 05:42PM

  15. Justin,

    In about the last paragraph of your article, you said you couldn't find Adam. Most people begin reading the Bible, and never get past Genesis. I would finally suggest that you at least read Genesis up to Chapter 5, Verse 5. It says that Adam died.

    Comment by Steve Sampson — September 9, 2007 @ 09:15AM

  16. Justin,

    May you be at peace with the religious crackpots, for they will never leave you alone until the glorious day Lord Jebus descends in his spaceship and uses one of your ribs to produce a underage cousin for which to marry and molest under the Lord's glowing stare. Please, take these pamphlets -- they will be your sheild from the devil's words. Be blessed, fair Justin! Be motherfuckin' blessed 4eva!!!

    Comment by Jebus4eva — September 12, 2007 @ 04:12PM

  17. Justin,

    May you be at peace with the religious crackpots, for they will never leave you alone until the glorious day Lord Jebus descends in his spaceship and uses one of your ribs to produce a underage cousin which you can marry and molest under the eye-bugging gaze of HIM. Please, take these pamphlets -- as they will be your sheild to secular sit-coms and newspapers. Be blessed, dear Justin! Be blessed by motherfuckin' Jebus 4eva!!!

    Comment by jebus4eva — September 12, 2007 @ 04:17PM

  18. It was Joseph Smith along with the other leaders of the LDS faith that introduced the rhetoric of 'war of extermination'.

    On July 4th 1838, in a speech co-written by Joseph Smith, Sidney Rigdon (who founded Mormonism along with Smith) declared,
    'And that mob that comes on us to disturb us, it shall be between us and them a war of extermination; for we will follow them until the last drop of their blood is spilled; or else they will have to exterminate us, for we will carry the seat of war to their own houses and their own families, and one party or the other shall be utterly destroyed.'

    This is a direct quote from the Mormon's official 'Comprehensive History of the Church'. It appears in vo1umn one on page 441.

    A good review of the 'Mormon Wars' can be found here: http://www.lds-mormon.com/tmpc.shtml

    Comment by FactChecker — September 23, 2007 @ 04:13PM

  19. Hey RJ,

    Debunking Lindsay is a lot like plunking fish in a barrel.

    Why not recommend the work of the official Mormon Educator Grant Palmer?
    >Grant H. Palmer (a fourth-generation Mormon, Brigham Young University graduate: M.A. American History) provides a helpful summary of the enormous amount of research that has been done over the last 25 years concerning the origins of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church — the Mormons). The word “Insider” in the title reflects his thirty-four years of experience as an Institute Director for the Church Educational System (CES)...

    http://www.irr.org/mit/Insiders-View-of-Mormon-Origins.html
    http://www.lds-mormon.com/insiders_view.shtml

    A lot of the best 'anit-Mormon' stuff out there comes directly from the the offical Mormon histories.

    For example, Joseph Smith published at least four very different versions of the story of how God choose him as his prophet...

    "The 8th and final chapter consist of Joseph Smith’s four First Vision accounts recorded during 1832, 1835, 1838 and 1842. The foundational importance of the First Vision for the LDS Church cannot be over emphasized. Current LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley declares:

    Our whole strength rests on the validity of that vision. It either occurred or it did not. If it did not, then this work is a fraud. (Salt Lake Tribune, October 7, 2002)"

    Some how Plamer has remained a Mormon. The power of double-think is never to be underestimated.

    Comment by FactChecker — September 23, 2007 @ 05:06PM

  20. Okay, first of all, i have lived in blue springs for 20 years and so far, i haven't come across any Garden of Eden. I have been a christian for 15 years, and i have never heard anything as rediculous as someone saying that the Garden of Eden is in Independence. The Only garden coming out of independence is Marijuana gardens. Hence the name. #1 drug city in the nation.

    Comment by chris — April 23, 2008 @ 12:33PM

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