Game Enhancement

When sports get boring, the bored do eggnog bong rips. That's why the University of Kansas men's basketball squad's early season slate of cupcake opponents — such as tonight's 7 p.m. matchup with the Yale Bulldogs — necessitates the invention of a drinking game. One eggnog bong rip when Sherron Collins drives the lane, two when Brandon Rush swishes a 3-pointer, three when Darnell Jackson pounds his chest and barks like a dog, four when Russell Robinson dunks or blocks a shot, and five when Sasha Kaun makes a free throw. Fans with eggnog allergies may opt for one of the following Rock Chalk cocktails: the Sherron Collins (a Tom Collins with a dash of Red Bull for that speedy first step), the Rush-Rob Roy (a Rob Roy garnished with a sugar-rim alley-oop assist) or the Brandon Russian Quaalude (replace Crème de Cacao with a Triple Sec swish). Apologies to those who attend the alcohol-free action at Allen Fieldhouse, where KU and Yale throw down (1700 Naismith Drive in Lawrence, 785-864-3141). Jayhawks
Sat., Dec. 29, 7 p.m., 2007