Songwriting alchemist Mark Eitzel turns dread into Golden

There's a few reasons. It's a series of things. We opened for Spoon. I love them — they're good people, and I love their music — but the fans were entitled little pricks. Maybe I'm being a cranky old man. I like dirty people who are cranky and a little shy. My problem with success is that I despise the general population. I went to this emo show in San Francisco, and it was ... these beautiful teenage kids. Bland pricks. It's a little fascist. I was in Los Angeles once, and there was this collection of three young people with the latest gear and the latest haircuts, and they looked me up and down and looked away immediately, and I was like, "Right on." That's my trouble — I look in people's faces. Maybe it's the gloom I'm putting out. I don't see a lot of joy in people. There's a lot of joy in people's hearts, though. I used to think country singers were idiots because they sang these down songs with smiles on their faces. You ameliorate yourself in a vision of the miserabilist. It's a PR disaster.

You were a punk.

I was a punk at 18. It makes you happy to challenge yourself and see yourself as a freak. Any kind of creative person, there's always a problem with you and the other, you and the world outside. As a musician, you have to decide all the time to say, "Get out of my way. You're in my fucking way." But if you're sensitive and you're open, it's kind of fucked up. I've got no one to blame but myself. I should have never played dark music. I used to really love Jonathan Richman. He changed after doing two of the most perfect albums ever — The Modern Lovers and The Original Modern Lovers — and then he said, "Those were too dark. I'm going to write about snowmen." He's a fucking genius for that. I didn't like those songs, though.

Do you like those songs better now?

No.

What about all the years you've spent being publicly down on yourself?

Never be self-effacing. No one understands it. It was always a complete joke. I did an interview with an online magazine and played a song for the camera. I did the whole thing. Nice man did the interview. He did a really great job. I think at one point I said, off the cuff, "I know basically I suck, but this song is blah, blah, blah." And, of course, the headline was that I think I suck.

What's your best quality?

It's my legs and my eyes. Really. I've got gams. Please.