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At the homecoming dance last October, Matthew stood on the platform stage in the East gym. He was nervous and excited. His friend Sarah Jones, whom he knew from cheerleading, stood by his side and gripped his hand tightly. The gym was hot, and the lights shone brightly onto the homecoming king and queen candidates.

Matthew sported black tux pants, a black button-down shirt and his brother's bright-pink tie. A mass of people crowded the stage as if they were at a concert. He waved to friends. His mom, Teri, a nurse at Olathe Medical Center, stood to one side. He spotted two of his best friends, Serena Verden and Jessica Perbeck, in the middle of the crowd. His boyfriend, James Castle, was resplendent in a black Armani suit and a red tie.

The theme of the dance was "A Knight in Hollywood" — a play on East's Lancer mascot. Balloons and streamers in the school colors hung from the ceiling and on the walls of the gym and in the hallway. Pictures of celebrities lined the walls, and a red carpet created a path from the school's doorway into the gym.

Matthew had been dreaming of this moment since his freshman year. To him, it represented a level of acceptance by his peers. In previous years, friends lost out on the crown because they were into theater or choir. He believed, though, that the students in all four grades accepted him for being a theater person and a singer in the choir — and for being gay.

When Matthew came out at the beginning of his freshman year, he was terrified that he'd lose longtime friends or be harassed. He got a few nasty comments during freshman and sophomore years, and he got into a fight at a Shawnee Mission North homecoming after-party over being gay. But he found, to his surprise, that his experience coming out was generally really cool.

A lot of things are "really cool" to Matthew. He has a sweet demeanor and a friendly face to match. He's the guy who says hi to you in the hallways, which helped him win votes for homecoming king. "A lot of people came up to me and said, 'Oh, I nominated you because you said hi to me that one time — you're just so nice,'" he says. "I say hi to everyone. I want people to feel nice when they're walking ... I think it's good for people to be, like, acknowledged instead of just kind of pushed away."

He first started questioning his sexuality in eighth grade. Before that, he loved girls. "I was all for the girls," he said. But then he started to ask himself, "Am I?" And at the end of the school year, he realized, "Yeah, I am."

After that, he didn't want to waste any time trying to hide it. "It's hard not to talk about it or be who you are, so I'm going to go right out and say it," he told himself. He started coming out to close friends and their families, and the mom of a good friend suggested that it was time to tell his own family — especially his mom. "She needs to know. She needs to find out from you," his friend's mom said as she held his hand.

Matthew and his family are extremely close. He grew up in Fairway, the youngest of three. His brother, Michael, was a senior when Matthew was a freshman. Matthew was friends with a lot of older kids. He had to grow up fast — his parents had to work long hours — and he had a level of independence that the other kids didn't. He recalls that when he was 5 years old, he was allowed to ride his bike to the Prairie Village Shops by himself.

Five years older than Matthew, Katie is the big sister who's also a best friend. She was also the first family member he came out to. He didn't know her views on homosexuality, and he was scared that he would disappoint her.

After his friend's mom suggested that he tell his family, Matthew called Katie and asked for a ride. He got into her little silver car, and before they even left the friend's driveway, he started weeping. "I have to tell you something," he said.

Katie thought something horrible had happened. He told her, and Katie burst into tears.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" she cried. "Why would you think that would change how I feel about you? You're my brother. I love you."

After recovering a bit, she even managed to make a joke. "Now I have someone to go shopping with!"

Back onstage at the homecoming dance, time had slowed down in Matthew's mind, and as a teacher read the homecoming queen candidates' names, he wondered how he should react when the teacher announced the king. He was elated that he was nominated alongside many of his good friends. He and about half the court had gone to dinner at J. Gilbert's before the dance. Also that night, his mom had met James — it was the first time he had introduced her to a boyfriend.

Sarah kept squeezing his hand. "I know you got it. I know you won," she repeated.

"Don't say it! Don't jinx it!" he replied.

One of the first people he came out to was his then-best friend, Hope Lowe. They'd known each other since kindergarten; her mother was like a second mom to him. Friends teasingly called her Hope Pope because she and Matthew hung out all the time. She and her family are religious, so he was nervous about talking to them.

He called Hope one afternoon and said, "I need to tell you something." The drive to her house took about two minutes — not enough time to think too hard about what he was about to do but enough to be nervous. After arriving at her ranch-style house, he went with her to her room, and they perched on opposite edges of her canopy bed. "I have something really important to tell you," he said.

Hope looked at him, wide-eyed. "Yeah, what are you going to tell me?"

Write Your Comment show comments (12)

  1. Ok...here we go. My father is gay ( I am 47). I did not find out until 6 years ago. Long story short as to how I came into being but I love him, always will and no big deal. Interesting that he and I had the same take on this article...it should have been left alone. This is all great and wonderful for this guy and his friends and family however, these articles that highlight homosexuality, as well meaning as they are, in many ways and with many people give the immpression of an "gay agenda" and there is none. if he was hetrosexual this would not have been written. While we as a country have come a long way, we still have a ways to go. homosexuality sill has a lot of detractors. I come from the west coast and this is no big deal however many people here are still living in the 50's.Lets not in anyway keep this in the closet but by making this worthy of such a huge article it just adds fire to those that think there is an agenda to "push gayness" on other people and unfortunatly...there are plenty of "those"kinds of people still left. Let this filter out naturally, don't force it.

    Comment by Mark — May 7, 2008 @ 05:32PM

  2. Of course the pitch would finally pick up on this story. This is NOT the first time a gay student at SME has taken prom in this direction. This person is NOT the first male dancer. What a joke. It is not new! Just because a paper realizes it for the first time doesn't make it new. The don't realize it, doesn't mean he's the first gay kid at SME. He's the billionth. Its B.S. to pretend like he's making news. Good for his life, but don't act like he's won a prize. Life is life and get over it. You're screwing with his life and screwing with what people think of schools. It's not revolutionary. He's one of many.

    Comment by Former VP — May 8, 2008 @ 02:28AM

  3. Funny how some issues are "no big deal" until someone actually mentions it--and then they're full of negativity and vitriol.

    Mark, I hate to say it, but if your father was in the closet until he was sixty, he's the last person I would look to for a healthy attitude. This is a nice human interest story, and good for Matthew for being so popular by being himself.

    Comment by Sportin' Life — May 8, 2008 @ 02:23PM

  4. No it may not be new to have a gay home coming king but what is truly amazing is the way his peers accepted him. When I was in school this would not have been accepted. It is heartwarming to see that this generation has learned from our mistakes.

    Comment by Mark — May 8, 2008 @ 03:38PM

  5. He's a talented, popular, well-adjusted, happy gay kid who has been out since freshman year and was named Homecoming King. How can the first two commenters not recognize that highlighting someone like that is important to other young gays, who so often face hatred and violence? I'm only 35, but high school was hell for me, and I grew up in a wealthy, "progressive" school district.

    I saw bravo for profiling the kid and showing how normal he is, and how his peers don't care. Once everyone now under 30 is 50, there will be very little homophobia left in this country.

    I think it's really sad that anyone who supposedly supports gays could have a negative reaction to this article.

    Comment by Paul — May 8, 2008 @ 04:29PM

  6. As long as the kid agreed to do the article, I think it could be helpful for other gay students to see a positive role model. When I was his age, and even older I was told all gay people were pervs, and I believed it because I didn't know any other out gay people. Having information like this would have been helpful. Other than his father dying so young, it sounds like he's having a good life. Good for him.

    Comment by Troy — May 8, 2008 @ 09:32PM

  7. WhooptyDooo....we know what the pimple faced homecoming king-queen likes to do for sex!Who cares.What makes him special for being gay.I thought we are all just people and should be treated as the same.Right Libs?Its a sex act...not a race,religion or gender.Oh well...what are you gonna do.The Bitch writes as if 100% of its readers are gay.At least the "fruit fly-Fag hag"crowd enjoyed the article.You know...the cool chicks that always, allegedly,has a gay friend or Black friend (like a pet poodle)as some type of status symbol.

    Comment by billyb — May 9, 2008 @ 12:27PM

  8. Matthew is my brother (yes I am the Katie in the story with the "small silver car" - haha), and I know I am completely biased, but Matthew really is a happy, friendly person and great role-model for young kids, whether they are gay or straight or whatever. I agree with those of you who say that one of the functions of this article (along with being a human-interest piece) is to provide a story & support to young gay people who are trying to figure out who they are and who are scared of how their friends & others will accept them. I also think that it shows the general public that the younger generations are much more accepting than their older counterparts. I understand that this isn't the first time a gay, young, accepted, popular, happy kid has existed or been written about, but the same can be said about a lot of other human interest stories with a wide range of topics. So here's a suggestion for those of you who don't like what or who the Pitch (or any other publication) writes about... don't read it. :)

    Comment by Kt — May 9, 2008 @ 05:20PM

  9. I really think the reason as to why this story should be told is it is a sign of the times we live in. I graduated in 1968. Our homecoming King was captain of the football & basketball team. His queen was the daughter of the most prominent lawyer in town. They went to prom together. He was black - She was white. Back then it raised as many eyebrows as Matthew's story does today. Let's hope it does not take 40yrs for it to become moot.

    Comment by cjerryquick — May 10, 2008 @ 09:01AM

  10. Congrats Matthew!!

    I heard about you on the Feast of Fools Podcast....

    It would be really cool if they would interview you in their show....

    Derek

    http://www.dereketnyre.com

    Comment by Derek — May 12, 2008 @ 01:58PM

  11. I'm really proud of Matthew and proud that East (who is widely known to have a very poor reputation in the social acceptance department) is becoming open enough to accept anyone other than what is considered "mainstream norm" in society. Now maybe the staff and students can try to accept those students who dress differently as well. Not all of them are angry little psycho's. Some just like to be different.

    Comment by Mother of an East Student — May 12, 2008 @ 06:39PM

  12. As an old man who admires the procession of SME students on the streets throughout the Village, I want to add my congratulations to Matthew, his family and friends. Also, I want to say "thank you" to the author of this well written feature, that caused me to blubber a bit--in a quiet way. Why should any young man or woman in our comfortable middle class neighborhood have to face the soul-scarring experience of being judged or ridiculed for being "different"? Matthew, you are fortunate, I didn't have such good fortune when I was growing up in San Francisco--yes San Francisco, now the gay capital of the United States. So like some of your school mates, I tried hard to be as masculine as I was suppose to be; to carry my books the right way (no backpacks then), and to keep my eyes pointed the right direction in the gym shower room--I did all this out of great fear--fear that Matthew has been spared. There were no male cheer leaders in my day, but there were theatre clubs and classes. There was also my pride in playing the father, Joe, in the first non-pro-fessional production of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons" in my senior year. That was the year I was awarded an acting scholarship to Northwestern University, and then the beginning of a New York and West Coast directing career. Today I'm retired, with an attempt at marriage behind me. I'm writing my memoirs for a demanding publisher. And you, Matthew, my boy--go from this place to Oklahoma. Keep your head held high; hold tightly to the hand of James or whomever it will be. Have faith in the Great Spirit, in whom you will never walk alone.

    Comment by Paul — May 12, 2008 @ 07:55PM

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