Are You Ready for Some Football?

As ESPN commercials seem to imply, Monday Night Football is the antidote for the oncoming shittiness of another vacuous week. So what if your job sucks and your printer jams? There always will be three hours of drinking, cheering and merriment at the end of the rainbow. Even if you don't care about the game, there are tantalizing spectacles to behold: exploding-helmet animation, celebrity guests and some of the worst bumper music known to humankind. The totality of this American tableau can be experienced tonight and every Monday at the Mission Theatre Lounge (5903 Johnson Drive, 913-722-1081). Amenities include $1 Miller bottles, several big-screen boob tubes, couches, and a bar featuring 50-plus beer varieties and 120 liquors. And now that commentator Dennis Miller is gone, you don't have to heave half your tab at the television.
Mondays, 5 p.m.-midnight, 2008