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  • City Pages

    Michele Bachmann, Unmuzzled

    You don't need to read Sarah Palin's book to hear the ravings of a mad woman.

    By Matt Snyders

  • Miami New Times

    Pimp Daddy

    The rise and fall of a chubby sex-cult leader.

    By Natalie O'Neill

  • Riverfront Times

    Babe 'n' Arms

    Tom was a hot-tempered cross-dresser with a garage full of guns--and then he became Rachel.

    By Nicholas Phillips

  • Dallas Observer

    The Fight for Texas

    Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison are locked in a battle over the soul of the GOP. They're also running for governor.

    By Sam Merten

Best Nude Beach 2008: Heartland Cove at Smithville Lake

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Published on April 29, 2009 at 2:08am

Let's speak hypothetically for a minute. Suppose there were a strip of beach about 40 miles north of Kansas City. It's not the most beautiful beach you'll ever see, bordering as it does on a lot of tall grass and some woodlands, with a mixture of clay and sand in the water, along with a few dead branches below the surface. But it's not unpleasant, either, offering a sort of peacefulness and seclusion because it's inaccessible to sailboats and it's in a no-skiing area. Hypothetically, that seclusion could afford you an opportunity to shed the oppressive cottons and denims society forces you to cover yourself with and exist in a more natural state nearer to God. Maybe. Now suppose that, if you entered the words "Heartland Cove" into Google, you could find some directions to this magical place, along with a message board from nude recreation enthusiasts letting you know when like minds were looking for company during their visits. We certainly don't endorse breaking any of the state of Missouri's sensible laws about wearing pants, but if you're the type of adventurous scofflaw whom this appeals to, we wish you the best of luck. Allegedly.
Starts: May 1. Daily, 2009