Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Studies in Crap Unveils Picture Stories of the Sex Life of Man and Woman

Posted by on Tue, May 19, 2009 at 6:00 AM

Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in

forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift

stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason:

Knowledge is power.

click to enlarge picturestories1.jpg

Picture Stories of the Sex Life of Man and Woman

Author: Dr.

David H. Keller, "America's most consulted sexologist"

Publisher: Cadillac

Publishing Company, New York

Date: 1941

Discovered at: Collection of

Nancy Hulston, Director of Archives at the University of Kansas

Medical Center

The Cover Promises: "317 Instructive Pictures Explaining How Sex Functions in Human Beings"


Like any regrettable hook-up, Dr. Keller's Picture Stories of the Sex Life of Man and Woman gets all its words out of the way early, merely offering justification for the hardcore action to follow. For Keller, that justification is helping Americans achieve "the highest happiness life holds for us

humans: ideal married love."

To that end, he offers this guide to ladyparts:

picturestoriesblistersandtoenails.jpg

You see, marital happiness depends upon men's understanding of the sexual potential of lungs, armpits, scar tissue and blisters! 


So, Dr. Keller claims his images make sex better. This one shows how nerves and glands dance the maypole around the brain.

picturestoriesbrain.jpg

And I learned a lot from this space-olive Spaghetti-O waterslide.

picturestoriesscienceofsexattraction.jpg

Could you pick the clitorises of your loved ones out of a line-up?
picturestoriessizesofclitoris.jpg

At this point, I think we need to bring words back into this. Why, exactly, did Dr. Keller feel the need to publish a sketch that makes a "negro porter"'s clitoris look like Popeye's chin?
 
From his introduction, titled "Your Automobile -- Your Radio --

and Your Body: The Need for Straight Thinking on Sex in Words and

Pictures":

"It certainly is an interesting

commentary on our civilization that a man who is able to name

correctly the parts of his radio or automobile, cannot name

accurately the parts of his own body or describe the manner in which

they function to promote his health and happiness."

He argues that reproduction "makes of man more than a machine. It

makes him into a creative god."


I'll cede that point. Keller's creative. He comes up with 317 ways to not actually show the fleshy bits instrumental in "sex attraction":


picturestorieskeleton.jpg


More justification, please! 


Keller cites Havelock Ellis, "the great English sexologist":

"If there were a

due degree of familiarity with the natural organs and functions of

the opposite sex, ninety percent of the indecent acts of youths with

girl children would disappear."

And: 

"The ignorance of the physical facts

of sexual love is marked not only in women but also in men, for the

civilized man often knows less of the facts of sexual life than a

milkmaid."

Sadly, neither sexologist makes clear just how images like this are supposed to help with the ins and outs of in-and-out.


picturestoriesuterus.jpg

Is there any beauty greater than that of a butterfly emerging from its uterus?

Shocking Detail:
Other topics Dr. Keller covers in his deeply unhelpful fashion:

  • "The Process of Erection and

    Excitement Explained"

  • "Emotional Climaxes of Married Couple

    During Coitus"

  • "How the Organs Look If the Front of the

    Female Body Is Opened"

  • "Facts You Should Know For

    Defloration On Bridal Night" 

And this defense of an ideal:
picturestoriesideal.jpg

I applaud his rejection of corsets, yet I despise his rejection of arms.


Highlight:

picturestoriescourseofsexlife.jpg


Observations:
  • Genital play begins at 8. Dinner to follow.
  • While men all follow one sexual trajectory, women have two choices: married or single.
  • The man's peak comes when the married woman is in labor?
  • Between 40 and 50, single women either take a lover or become homosexuals.
  • At 55 married women choose whether or not to entertain a lover. This is three years before they are widowed and, somehow, five years before their husbands' erections become "weak" and "poor."
  • For men, the 60s are a hotbed of "sex plays and books."
  • At 60 the life journeys of married and single women converge. This is The Golden Girls hypothesis.

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