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Yesterday, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
announced its 2011 nominees. They are: Bon Jovi, Alice Cooper, Beastie Boys, J. Geils Band, LL Cool J, Donovan, Tom Waits, Chic, Laura Nyro, Chuck Willis, Darlene Love, Donna Summer, Dr. John, Joe Tex and Neil Diamond.
I have literally never even heard of two of those people. And a glance at the list of inductees
reveals some shocking snubs and bizarre inductions. If we may: a few suggestions for making the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame less lame.
In: Tom Waits
. In all fairness, Waits will probably make it in this year. But according to the rules -- performers aren't eligible until 25 years after the release of their first record -- Waits could have been inducted anytime in the past twelve
years. (Closing Time came out in 1973
.) That's fucking crazy.
Out: The Doors. Jim Morrison was a drunk hack disguised as a tortured poet -- the anti-Waits.
In: Big Star. Like Waits, Big Star was never an act that moved many units. Also like Waits: the band is incredibly influential, which should really count for more than it does to the Hall of Fame voters. Alex Chilton's untimely death earlier this year might grease the wheels for a nomination sometime in the future.
Out: The Dave Clark Five. Beatles knockoffs with like four hits -- did Dave Clark pay for the construction of the Hall of Fame or something?
In: Phil Collins
. Yes, he got in with Genesis last year. No, Peter Gabriel does not deserve it before Collins. Take a look at this list of hits
and tell me he doesn't belong.
Out: Santana. How much mileage can this guy get out of playing "trippy" guitar solos?
In: The Smiths. Odd that they haven't even been nominated yet. They released four albums in four years, all of them great. Morrissey is definitely brooding over this.
Out: Jefferson Airplane. Quick: Name a song by Jefferson Airplane that's not "Somebody to Love." Gotcha!
In: The Replacements. Time for the Hall to start recognizing '80s indie rock. The 'Mats made at least three classic albums and changed the lives of millions of goofy Midwestern kids. They'll almost definitely never even get nominated, but boy it would be great to see how Westerberg would handle something like that.
Out: Lynyrd Skynyrd. Because, you know, all their songs are terrible and they're kind of racist.