Bars are for pints and for half-pint wrestlers, micro-brews and micro-brawls. But the state of Missouri doesn't agree. Just two days before a midget wrestling event was scheduled to take over a bar in Cape Girardeau, the state found out. And Missouri has decided that the spectacle of small-people slamming classifies as athletics, not entertainment.
That's bad news for Chris Seib, owner of the Pink Galleon Billiards & Games. According to the Southeast Missourian, his bar is supposed to have midget wrestling matches tonight. State officials are claiming Seib must get the mandated licenses for promoters, referees and wrestlers.
Seib wants to pay the licensing fees, but worries that the paperwork
won't be done in time for Thursday's showdown.
"It's not real wrestling, it's entertainment, but we're bound by the rules," Seib told the Southeast Missourian. It's obvious that the Extreme Midget Wrestling Federation agrees. The EMWF MySpace site markets its wrestlers to troubled nightclub entrepreneurs who are looking to get more customers. Short Sleeve Sampson and Little Bastard, it claims, will populate even the most deserted club.
Skyler Ward, a promoter with the EMWF, told the paper that the Federation usually sidesteps Missouri because of its fun-killing and job-destroying rules, like mandatory physicals and HIV blood tests.
"We'd like to do the show," Ward told the Southeast Missourian. "We hope the athletic commission will work with us. These little guys really need the work."
If Seib can pull off all the necessary licensing in time for tonight's event, it'll be nothing less than a small miracle.