Surgeons spend all day slicing and dicing meat of the human body, rearranging corporal cuts until the body's slimy Rubik's Cube is in place. You'd think it'd be hard to gross out a surgeon, considering men and women of such ilk could probably sleep arm-deep in a digestive tract.
Today, we learned that these human sushi chefs are thinner-skinned than once thought.
When the staff at MU School of Medicine's Department of Surgery received
their monthly newsletter, many were appalled at the "Recipe of the Month"
submitted by David Kubiak, a patient care coordinator at the
hospital. Kubiak volunteered his recipe for Kung Pao Kitten.
you make it, according to the newsletter: cleave a freshly dead kitten
into chunks and marinate the feline in white wine, soy sauce, and oil
until browned. Add water chestnuts and peanuts, and you have a dish
worthy of any potluck.
Under the recipe, a disclaimer was printed that read: "The tastes and opinions within the Staff Spotlight do not necessarily represent those of all contributors. No animals were hurt in the making of this Spotlight." CliffsNotes version: It was a joke. Even school spokesman Rich Gleba said it wasn't meant to be taken seriously.
But shortly after the 90 health care professionals on the newsletter list read the recipe, the Columbia Tribune received an anonymous complaint with a copy of the offending document and a note kvetching that the recipe was "extremely offensive, discriminatory, tasteless and not something that should have been distributed in a professional environment."
Proving definitively that there is no such thing as a funny bone, the surgery department called the recipe "inappropriate and insensitive" and Kubiak apologized minutes after the newsletter was sent out.
What was supposed to be a lighthearted, palette-expanding post drowned in accusations of racism and cultural faux pas. Really, though, what's the difference between a little Kung Pao Kitten and, say, the politically incorrect Eskimo Pies? Or how about the non-secular angel food cake? I ask you: What about crackers?