Remember in November when Kansas City blogger Nerdy Apple Bottom wrote about some bitchy parents' reaction to her son dressing as Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween? Nerdy, also known as Sarah, is back in the news -- and this time, she writes that her church pastor has threatened to kick her out of the congregation.
Let's backtrack a little: Last Halloween, Sarah let her son Boo
go to a preschool costume party dressed as Daphne. The kids liked
Boo's costume, but the
Sarah blogged about the experience; her post was called "My Son is
Gay," although she wrote that she doesn't know Boo's sexual
orientation but doesn't care, either.
A few of the other mothers freaked, making comments in front of Boo. Sarah
wrote of the experience:
If you think that me allowing my son to be aThe story went national (watch Sarah on the Today Show below). Months later, Sarah has struck a chord again. In a blog post called "Epilogue," Sarah wrote that her church pastor has been
female character for Halloween is somehow going to 'make' him gay then
you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my
son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that
your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
bullying her in the name of "spiritual care." From Nerdy:
It was immediately clear that I was being viewed as having
done something very wrong. Our initial conversation was me being called
"defensive," "vindictive," "disrespectful," "prideful," and told that
I "crossed a line." I was told I needed to do penance. I was not asked
about how Boo was doing.
The second discussion was a face-to-face meeting during which Squirt was
present. I was handed a printout of the church's response. There had
been a meeting with some Elders, and they decided I'd broken the 8th
Commandment and not followed Matthew 18. I was told that some members
were worried that I was "promoting gayness." I don't even know what that
means. The words I had written were not promoting anything other than
unconditional love and tolerance.
Two months after the first two discussions, according to Sarah, the
pastor told her that she needed to apologize to the women whom she had
"slandered." The pastor told her that there were four steps to restoring her
relationships with the other mothers:
1. Write Moms ABC an apology with an example of how to wordCan I get a hell no? But what if Sarah refused? She wrote:
2. Take down the Halloween post.
3. No longer write or speak of these women regarding my
4. Consider taking the entire blog down.
When I asked what happens if I couldn't do those things I
was handed a final page that had already been prepared regarding my
unwillingness to repent and what the ramifications of that would be. My
punishment was to be disallowed from receiving Communion, and if I were
to continue to not seek forgiveness, I may be removed from the
congregation and not be able to transfer to another church in our
denomination in good standing (which feels like the harshest punishment a
modern-day pastor can dole out). It felt like an ultimatum. I pointed
out the hypocrisy of the entire conversation, mentioned that Boo had
been forgotten in all of this, said the meeting was over, and walked
Good for you, Sarah!
After asking about how to file a complaint against the pastor, Sarah did
receive an e-mail from her pastor saying he was reconsidering the whole
withholding Communion thing. The church higher-up she spoke with was
cc'ed on the e-mail.
Sarah wrote that she feels betrayed and bullied, and rightfully so.
"I have never felt less welcome in a church," Sarah wrote. "This is not
the church that I grew up in. This is not the God that I know. And again
I say to you that bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow
and call it 'spiritual care.' "
Sarah, you're preaching to the choir.