Thursday, February 10, 2011

Church bullies the mother who let son dress as Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween

Posted By on Thu, Feb 10, 2011 at 8:00 AM

click to enlarge Zoinks! Boo dressed as Daphne.
  • Zoinks! Boo dressed as Daphne.

Remember in November when Kansas City blogger Nerdy Apple Bottom wrote about some bitchy parents' reaction to her son dressing as Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween? Nerdy, also known as Sarah, is back in the news -- and this time, she writes that her church pastor has threatened to kick her out of the congregation.

Let's backtrack a little: Last Halloween, Sarah let her son Boo

go to a preschool costume party dressed as Daphne. The kids liked

Boo's costume, but the

other mothers didn't approve.

Sarah blogged about the experience; her post was called "My Son is

Gay," although she wrote that she doesn't know Boo's sexual

orientation but doesn't care, either.



A few of the other mothers freaked, making comments in front of Boo. Sarah

wrote of the experience:

If you think that me allowing my son to be a

female character for Halloween is somehow going to 'make' him gay then

you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my

son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that

your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.

The story went national (watch Sarah on the Today Show below). Months later, Sarah has struck a chord again. In a blog post called "Epilogue," Sarah wrote that her church pastor has been

bullying her in the name of "spiritual care." From Nerdy:

It was immediately clear that I was being viewed as having

done something very wrong. Our initial conversation was me being called

"defensive," "vindictive," "disrespectful," "prideful," and told that

I "crossed a line." I was told I needed to do penance. I was not asked

about how Boo was doing.

The second discussion was a face-to-face meeting during which Squirt was

present. I was handed a printout of the church's response. There had

been a meeting with some Elders, and they decided I'd broken the 8th

Commandment and not followed Matthew 18. I was told that some members

were worried that I was "promoting gayness." I don't even know what that

means. The words I had written were not promoting anything other than

unconditional love and tolerance.

Two months after the first two discussions, according to Sarah, the

pastor told her that she needed to apologize to the women whom she had

"slandered." The pastor told her that there were four steps to restoring her

relationships with the other mothers:

1. Write Moms ABC an apology with an example of how to word

it.

2. Take down the Halloween post.

3. No longer write or speak of these women regarding my

"accusations."

4. Consider taking the entire blog down.

Can I get a hell no? But what if Sarah refused? She wrote:

When I asked what happens if I couldn't do those things I

was handed a final page that had already been prepared regarding my

unwillingness to repent and what the ramifications of that would be. My

punishment was to be disallowed from receiving Communion, and if I were

to continue to not seek forgiveness, I may be removed from the

congregation and not be able to transfer to another church in our

denomination in good standing (which feels like the harshest punishment a

modern-day pastor can dole out). It felt like an ultimatum. I pointed

out the hypocrisy of the entire conversation, mentioned that Boo had

been forgotten in all of this, said the meeting was over, and walked

out.

Good for you, Sarah!


After asking about how to file a complaint against the pastor, Sarah did

receive an e-mail from her pastor saying he was reconsidering the whole

withholding Communion thing. The church higher-up she spoke with was

cc'ed on the e-mail.

Sarah wrote that she feels betrayed and bullied, and rightfully so. 

"I have never felt less welcome in a church," Sarah wrote. "This is not

the church that I grew up in. This is not the God that I know. And again

I say to you that bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow

and call it 'spiritual care.' "


Sarah, you're preaching to the choir.


H/T: KSHB.

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