Bishop Robert Finn issued a five-point plan yesterday for handling allegations of sexual abuse, and you can read all of the blah, blah, blah here. Five points seem a little long -- and a lot like corporate America crisis management bullshit. I feel like we can cut this down to a two-point plan. Here goes: Don't molest children. And for the diocese, turn over all allegations of sexual abuse to the police. Done!
You don't even need former U.S. Attorney Todd Graves to do his independent investigation, because you know who will happily investigate those claims of abuse? The police. And you don't even have to pay 'em (taxpayers are already doing it). The police are so rad. They have these guys called detectives who investigate allegations of abuse. Hell, they even have a unit specifically for this. It's called sex crimes. Why is this so hard?