Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Five overgeneralizations about drive-thru employees

Posted By on Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 10:40 AM

You cant shock Micky Ds...
  • Times-Union
  • You can't shock Micky D's...
With the news of the McRib, it's hard not to think about the drive-thru this morning. And while all transactions are essentially the same — order through improperly calibrated speaker system, wait in line long enough to regret pulling into the parking lot, pay at the window, sneak a bite before easing out into traffic, and then debate tossing the bag out the window after you see what you really wanted for lunch once you start driving again — there are genuine differences across the franchise universe. As a result, Fat City has put together a completely unscientific collection of five overgeneralizations about drive-thru employees.

5. Wendy's employees are always having better conversations than you. The drive-thru window is like a baseball dugout. It's a stream of several different conversations going on at once, and you just hope that you can sneak your order in edgewise.

4. Jimmy John's employees are sorting geniuses. Jimmy John's counter-to-window service displays the kind of hand dexterity that doesn't exist outside of Netflix's warehouse distribution centers. If JJ's drive-thru operators were sent to the Post Office and told that each envelope contains a sandwich, they might be able to turn around mail service in this country.

3. Dunkin' Donuts' employees are perplexed. When the menu expanded beyond coffee and doughnuts, the world changed inside the pink and orange behemoth. And it feels like employees are still grappling with the ennui of moving away from breakfast, leading to an order of their staples still being a bit of a production.

2. McDonald's employees are simply unflappable. Based on the volume of orders and a near constant flow of cars, McDonald's drive-thru operators would make for great apocalypse protagonists — nothing seems to really faze them.

1. Chick-fil-A employees are the most polite teens in the universe. I always feel like my chicken-sandwich purchase is a gift to them. Although it's hard not to wonder what is actually going on behind the smile of the army of Tracy Flicks.

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