Monday, December 5, 2011

Todd Haley and Tyler Palko share one very awkward moment in the Chiefs' win

A hypothetical conversation between the Chiefs' QB and head coach.

Posted by on Mon, Dec 5, 2011 at 6:00 AM

Tyler Palko through the only touchdown of the game.
  • Arrowhead Addict
  • Tyler Palko threw the only touchdown of the game.
The Chicago Bears didn't hand the victory to the Kansas City Chiefs yesterday at Soldier Field — they tipped it. The only touchdown in the game came courtesy of Chris Conte forcefully knocking the ball out of linebacker Brian Urlacher's hands into the belly of Dexter McCluster. That Hail Mary on the last play of the first half combined with a Bears' fourth-quarter drive into the red zone for the tying score ending in the belly of John McGraw — the fourth Chief to touch a ball in the air that Bears' receiver Roy Williams couldn't corral — were the two plays that determined the outcome of the 10-3 defensive battle.

But for the purposes of this post, let's just focus on the 12-second interlude to start the second quarter. The dialogue that follows is fictional (although entirely possible).

The first quarter ends, and we go to a commercial break.

Coach Todd Haley: Hey, Tyler. Can you come over here a second?

Quarterback Tyler Palko(looks up from braiding third-stringer Ricky Stanzi's hair): Just a second, coach. I'm still working on Ricky's French braid.

Haley: Tyler, it's kind of important.

Palko: You're right, coach. If I don't get this done before the quarter starts, he's going to have a half-done braid on national television.

Haley (looking at Romeo Crennel): Romeo, little help here?

Crennel: Sorry, Todd, got my hands full here (looks down at his hands, which are literally full of Polish sausages).

Haley (looks at Kyle Orton, who has been soft-tossing a football for the entire first quarter): Carl, get in there.

Orton (under his breath as he slides on his helmet): It's Kyle ... or Neckbeard.

We're back from the commercial break, and Kyle Orton is under center for the Chiefs — it's second and 10 near midfield.

Bill Muir: OK, Carl. We're gonna give the flea flicker a shot.

Orton is injured on the play when the Bears' Major Wright streaks through on a blitz, leaving the index finger on Orton's throwing hand resembling Brian Baldinger's pinky. Orton comes up from the play, holding that finger aloft to the sideline.

Haley (inwardly cursing for getting all of one play out of Orton after yanking Palko): Hey, Tyler? How would you feel about going in buddy?

Palko: Great, coach. Look at Carl out there, he's saying we're number one. That's awesome. By the way, check out Ricky's braid — it's pretty sweet. He said he'll give me a rat tail at the half.

Haley: Great ... just ... great. Bill, he's all yours.

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