Pee Party is an irregular column where we investigate local bar restrooms.
There are a lot of people out there who turn up their noses at the Northland. I don't get it. Sure, there's horrible sprawl, hideous commercial development and soulless subdivisions. But there's also Parkville, which is quaint and cute and situated right on the Missouri River. And there's Armour Road, which is about three minutes from downtown KC and lined with little shops, a Screenland
movie house, a Dairy Queen where I sometimes go get Blizzards now that the one on Southwest Boulevard closed, and a handful of restaurants and bars.
One of those, Chappell's Sports Bar & Museum (323 Armour), has a pretty unique angle going. As its name suggests, it serves food and beverages, but also functions as a sort of museum of sports memorabilia. Even if you're not that into sports, the historical artifacts are pretty remarkable. If you're not into sports or old things, I don't know what to say to you. Possibly you do not have a soul.
But what's going on in the restrooms? Follow me, my friends.
More sports memorabilia, that's what's going on in the restrooms! Check out those walls - and, on the right there, a wood shelf thing that looks like it previously held a pay phone. Imagine: You could once smoke a cigarette and talk on a pay phone in this restroom. How the world has changed!
It's a two-holer: One urinal, one stall. Here's the urinal, which is relatively private - that divider there nicely shields you from anyone washing his hands at the sink. It seems obvious, but many establishments neglect to grant customers such basic courtesies.
Above the toilet in the spacious stall is this UMKC basketball poster, which is among the coolest logos I've ever seen in my life.
Here's the sink. Nice touch there with the paper towels in the copper basket. I'm also a big fan of those trash-holes in the sink that keep the garbage out of view.
There's even memorabilia on the ceiling.
Verdict: This restroom is a homerun - a positively joyous place to urinate! Touchdown! He shoots, he scores! Other sports sayings!