Grinched

Here’s a lineup of those who have found themselves on the receiving end of a Grinch this holiday season.

published: December 20, 2007

The trees are trimmed, the cash registers are ringing and rosy-cheeked people are counting their blessings as they head into a new year — or so the commercials suggest. For some, though, holiday cheer may be in short supply. The Department of Burnt Ends has compiled this list of those who suffered a year of betrayal and disappointment. Consider them citizens of Whoville, the victims of Mr. Grinch. • Immigrants. The Minutemen are ramping up efforts to scare day laborers from construction sites, and Gov. Matt Blunt says cops should make an extra effort to deport brown-skinned folks who change lanes without signaling.

• Jam-band concertgoers. Surveillancegate hurt Wakarusa. Dogstock was a bust. It was a bad year to be a dirty hippie.

• Twinkie the Kid. With Interstate Bakeries nearly bust, there will be no Christmas this year for the son of Wonder Bread.

• Panera customers. We thought we'd get a dozen bagels every time the Royals got 12 hits. All we got was a middle finger schmear from the St. Louis chain.

• Royals fans. Mike Sweeney's gone, there's no Torii Hunter in the lineup, and all we have under our tree is a steroids-using cheater.

• Homeowners. Option One's future is in limbo, but you can bet it’s us working stiffs who will be stuck with the real after-the-holidays debt.

• Sprint workers. Forever the victims, Sprint employees face uncertain futures. Meanwhile, their CEO gets a sleigh-sized buyout.

• Waldo dog owners. They had plans for a place to take their dogs to frolic. But the city didn't want any of those reindeer games.