BY OWEN MORRIS
So there I was talking with Dimitry at the Valero
Said I need a snack that's tasty but not much dinero
Dimitry says Owen there's only one way to go
and that's with the rap snacks by Lil' Romeo.
I said, Lil' Romeo -- He's famous for food how?
And by the way, there no Lil' -- It's just Romeo now
So come on Dimitry my man, I don't mess around with you
I just want some chips -- preferably barbecue.
Dimitry says Owen before you talk all that smack
You should be sure that you have tasted this snack
And my friend, there is no better yummy
than having Romeo's "Bar-b-quin' With My Honey."
Besides zesty barbecue flavor, you are in luck
for Romeo cares not for the riches and charges only a buck
So I hand Dimitry a dollar and he hands me the snack
I'm staring at Romeo and he's staring right back.
The chips don't disappoint, they have the right flavor
Lots of barbecue taste and a little honey to savor
The chips themselves though are quite thin and small
and some chips have too much barbecue and some none at all.
Still, they're a good deal at that price
So I went back to Dimitry and said those were real nice
But I want a rap snack that has some more pop
More sting, more bling, the official snack of hip-hop!
Dimitry handed me another bag but said buyer beware
To call Yung Joc's "Sweetn' Hot Cheese Curls" awful is being more than fair
Imagine a Cheeto but with a fake spicy heat
and then take it and bake it in a pound full of sweet.
Dimitry was right. Yung Joc's curls were crap
Their flavor was weird and about as fresh as this rap
Even at the hungry office, people passed them by
It's clear that a dollar for them was a dollar too high.
So what did I learn from my little taste test?
Yung Joc is a crock and Romeo the best.
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