BY OWEN MORRIS
Once in a great while, I'll come across a recipe so odd, foul or just plain wrong-sounding that I feel compelled to make it. Such was the case this week when I received a press release from the Soyfood Council titled "Back to School with Soyfood Snacks."
Instead of feeding your children salty or fatty after-school snacks, the Soyfood Council says, you should feed them (what else) soy. The release goes on to list four recipes. Three of which sound all right -- soy nuts, soy vegetable dip and SoyJoy granola bars. But the recipe at the top is the one that caught my attention. Actually, it's not so much a recipe as just two items mixed together: tofu and Jell-O.
For as long as Jell-O has been around, it seems, people have been trying their best to ruin it by mixing it with things. Example A: Jell-O and fruit cocktail. But tofu and Jello-O is a new low. I asked my vegetarian friend Ben, who swears by tofu, if he'd ever thought of mixing it with Jell-O. He said he doesn't eat Jell-O because it's made with gelatin, but that tofu and Jell-O "sounds pretty disgusting."
I knew right then I had to taste it.
Since the recipe doesn't specify what flavor of Jell-O to get, I got two classics: lime and strawberry. From there, it was a simple matter of following the recipe:
1 small package of sugar-free Jell-O1/2 pound water packed soft tofu
Prepare Jell-O according to package directions except reduce the cold water by half. Let Jell-O set until firm. Press tofu to remove liquid and then crumble into food processor. Blend until smooth, add Jell-O and blend until incorporated. Chill until set. Top with soy-whipped cream if desired.
Four hours later, the Jell-Fu was done and ready to eat.
I'd had my suspicions that the Soybean Council hadn't tasted the Jell-Fu, but just included the recipe because they thought it sounded good. (Sadly, that happens a lot, even in recipe books by famous chefs. But that's a different post.)
After tasting Jell-Fu, my suspicions are only stronger. The tofu and Jell-O do not mix into one taste but instead alternate. One bite tastes like tofu, then Jell-O, tofu again, then Jell-O. It's like the Jell-O and tofu are battling inside your mouth and the battle keeps swinging from one side to the other. You could get the same taste by downing a shot of tofu, followed by a shot of Jell-O ad infinitum.
I didn't think Jell-Fu would taste very good and I was right, but what I was unprepared for was just how unpleasant these two unique textures would be together. It really is disconcerting. Like fingernails on a blackboard, only in your mouth.
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