By OWEN MORRIS
If you're like me, you often say to yourself, "Man, I'd love to cook up some testicles right now, but I just don't know whether to marinate or grill them."
Fear no more. For what is apparently the world's first cookbook on testicles has recently come out. "The Testicle Cookbook" is subtitled "Cooking with Balls."
It gets even better! This is an E-Cookbook, which means that you can download it right now, complete with videos, and be serving Oysters a la Rocky Mountain for dinner tonight.
The author is Serbian testicles chef (his title not mine) Ljubomir Erovic, who is also the "organizer and creator of the annual testicle cooking champion here in Serbia."
The cookbook contains 31 classic testicle recipes, of which 30 actually have the word "testicle" in them, so you know they must be good. (I'm not so certain about Stew with Bull Penis.) Classics include ostrich testicles, simple style calf testicles and testicles a la Gornji Milanovac.
In the book, Erovic says he likes all testicles, but has a special fondness for ostrich testicles. Lest anyone think I just wrote about this cookbook so I could make a bunch of ball jokes, know that I am actually interested in what testicles taste like. I've never tried any animal testicles but I can't imagine them tasting too bad, especially in the hands of competent chefs such as those at Mario Batali's restaurant Del Posto, where duck testicles are a specialty. So I'll go on record right here: If anyone is cooking up a batch, I'll gladly sample them.
Here's a video of Erovic sharing some nuggets of wisdom about testicle pizza:
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I think the phrase "I've never tried any animal testicles..." leaves open the insinuation that you have tried testicles of some other ilk.
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