So Thanksgiving is over and even though the turkey leftovers aren't even finished, we've now begun a 28-day binge
of holiday Christmas music and lights and other crap. Frankly, a weekend of Christmas would be plenty for me -- but enough
has already been written about the over-hype and deluge of those aspects of Christmas.
I want to focus on other food-related parts of this jolly season.
Popcorn Tins:
I like popcorn but it is travesty to see
massive amounts of it going stale in tins, with three non-compatible flavors separated only by the
barest of cardboard dividers. I've never seen an empty popcorn tin, all the popcorn eaten. I'm not sure it's ever been done. Last year my household
ended up with three popcorn tins given to us by so-called "friends." We threw out two of them without even opening them.
No matter how much you
sugar-coat it (and the caramel is very sugary), giving popcorn tins
to someone is still just giving them popcorn for Christmas. You might
as well microwave a bag of it and wrap a ribbon around it. Might I suggest giving a smaller, more reasonable tin of Danish cookies which, unlike popcorn, actually go well with Christmas-timey things like fireplaces and tea?
Gingerbread Men:
Let's face facts here. If ginger cookies were really, really good, we'd eat them year-round like we do chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies.
Every year, it seems they're practically stuffed down our throats. At least that's the way it is in many households when a festive person makes too many of them and all of a sudden, family and friends are being given gingerbread cookies. How about making chocolate chip or plain sugar cookies in the gingerbread molds?
Christmas Plum Pudding:
Not having been raised during Victorian times or in Great Britain, I've only eaten plum pudding once. And I was not impressed. It wasn't covered in brandy and lit on fire; it tasted a lot more like raisins than plums and raisins and I do not get along.
Depending on the recipe, plum pudding is made from plums and cherries and nuts and blackberries and blueberries, which basically just makes it a more antique version of fruit cake. Speaking of which...
Fruit Cake:
I have little to add to what every two-bit comedian has already said. Fruitcake manages to take the wonderfulness that is cake and fruit and turn it into a jellied monstrosity that tastes nothing like fruit or cake but instead feels like a silicone puree.
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Just a reminder. For the 80th holiday season, Jane Parker fruitcakes are available in store at over 250 A&P/Superfresh/Waldbaum locations or online at http://janeparker.apfreshonlin...
Thanks for the financal information, im Kizzy bit stuck with the debts but there you go feel free to email me I have my own blog www.nlcb.org.uk about making some money.
I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will post a link to this page on my blog. I am sure my visitors will find that very useful.
It's Jane Parker fruitcake time again.
All your favorites are now available online.
http://janeparker.apfreshonlin...
I agree with those of you who love REAL fruit cake. It is very good for you and tastes awesome. The junk you get at wallyworld is trash. Amazing how many experts give their opinions when they have "zero" experience or know nothing about what they are advising others about. My Pomeranian has more sense than they do.
Sorry, I love all those holiday foods - even the fruitcake. Fruitcake and plum pudding soaked in rum for several months is exceptionally yummy! Light them on fire to celebrate! If you haven't eaten good ones, adventure out on a quest - the great ones are out there!!!
Yes, this author is a prick. And doing a fruitcake joke in an altpaper? REALLY? Even if you nod to the other hacks that do it.
Seriously, REALLY? Got any funny yukks up yer sleeve about how fat Elvis is still alive, or something about "Brokeback Mountain" maybe?
Dumbass, good fruitcake is kick-ass. You're obviously unqualified to write about food if you don't know that. Lumping proper fruitcake in with what you buy in the Price Chopper produce aisle is saying all hamburgers are what you get at Burger King.
I eat like to eat three tins of popcorn and then send my popcorny shit to starving people.
For shame. Throwing out good food. You could have taken that popcorn to a food bank.
what about that nasty green bean casserole that's at almost every holiday gathering i've ever been to?? slimy green beens topped with crusty onions? totally overrated
Okay so I work in a mall. They've been playing Christmas music since the first week of November. Someone save me! It's horrible. As much as I love hearing the same Christmas CD loop for 8 hours it is really turning me into a Grinch.
Remove gingerbread cookies and add candy canes. Those are awful. And the thought that you thew out a tin of popcorn makes me weep.
I'm from the UK originally and I have to admit that I have never even heard of a Popcorn tin.
Gingerbread men (I thought) were for Easter, but I totally agree about the rest!!!
More people ought to actually try fruitcake. It's delicious. Candied fruit, cake, spices. mmmmm I especially love it after it's been in the fridge so it's chilled. At 2 bucks a pop for this (pretty heavy for its size) cake, it doesn't hurt to give it a go.
And gingerbread men rock!
I keep ginger snaps in my house 24/7. Why you gotta be shittin on gingerbread men?
ok, fruit cake. You say it's fruit and cake, what's wrong with that? First off, fruit and cake should taste like a fig newton. It tastes like my grandmas sweater. and to those bitching about modern day Tiny Tim's throwing away food? Come on...I gave away $5 Thursday on Thanksgiving to those begging me for money. I saw them buying beer and 2 10 year old kids were drinking beer. I'll still throw away my old popcorn tins!
Mike, if you really don't like pancakes, why do you take the time to mix the batter? Duh.
Everyone's all high and mighty. You all throw away food. And none of you care about starving people in other countries.
Why not take that $40+ you spend on high speed Internet and send to those starving people. They would get a bite to eat and we wouldn't have to read your nonsense anymore.
This article was great. I'm gonna go cook some pancakes and throw them out. I don't like pancakes after three bites anyway.
"even the motherfuckers in starved countries would be saying "i dont want this shit"!
You should have quit while you were ahead. Admitting that you throw out unopened packages of food only proves that you're a wasteful prick.
"Last year my household ended up with three popcorn tins given to us by so-called "friends." We threw out two of them without even opening them. "
You sound awesome.
Popcorn deserves to be on the list. It's one of the main reasons so many get diverticulitous every year. Gingerbread men, YUCK!!!!! Fruitcake hasn't been worth talking about since Jane Parker retired. And what was that fourth food? I reckon it must be so forgettable I already forgot it!!!!!!
Bob
Dude, at my house we love the huge tins of popcorn at Christmas time. You have no taste for junk food.
Popcorn deserves to be on the list. It's one of the main reasons so many get diverticulitous every year. Gingerbread men, YUCK!!!!! Fruitcake hasn't been worth talking about since Jane Parker retired. And what was that fourth food? I reckon it must be so forgettable I already forgot it!!!!!!
Bob
a martyr is someone who DIES for their cause, you can't be a martyyr while youre alive.
re: ummmm's comment
thanx for the advice - give me your mailing address and i will mail all the shit i don't want to eat to you, so you can send it to bolivia or some country, you martyr you.
even the motherfuckers in starved countries would be saying "i dont want this shit"!
What? Have you ever even tasted fruitcake? Those jokes about this delicacy remind me that someone said it and others followed. I wonder how many of those comedians ever tasted fruitcake. HELLO!?! It's fruit and cake. You have something against this combination?
"Last year my household ended up with three popcorn tins given to us by so-called "friends." We threw out two of them without even opening them."
It was CHRISTMAS and you threw food away.
Way to go!!!
I am sure the modern day Tiny Tims cheered you on.
Thanks for throwing food away -- 'cause you cool like that.
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