Holy Taco has put together a list of the 10 worst type of drunks. There's something for everyone from "Mrs. Time to bring up old shit you've done that's pissed me off" to "Mr. Let's wrassle!"
The list is not complete. There's many a drunk-type that I'd like to add:
Mr. "You looking at me?" Drunk: Man oh man. Don't make eye
contact with this guy. His personal mission is to take down all the
chumps who have the gusto to accidentally glance at his waxed chest.
After accusing you of looking at him, he'll ask you what your problem
is and start shoving you while saying, "I'm not looking to start a
fight." Those words are invariably followed by punches.
The "I'm on a diet but I'm wasted so I'll order a pizza" drunk: Pity the poor friend who is always trying to lose weight and does so well -- until the weekend. Then, after a night of ingesting thousands of calories in alcohol, this friend calls for a pizza. Watching this type of drunk is not so annoying as it is sad, especially when nobody else in the group is hungry yet the person insists the pizza is for the group.
Mr. "Drinking gives me permission to accost girls on the dance floor" drunk: Anywhere else in life, it would be called assault, but on a dance floor, some men feel it's their God-given right to grind anything moving. The best response I've seen was at a club where this guy had been causing terror on the dance floor most of the night. Sure enough,he approaches this girl's backside and gets extremely close. The girl acts interested for a couple of seconds and then turns, puts her hands on the man's shoulders and knees him where no man should ever be kneed.
The "I'm ferfectly pine to drive. Who needs a ride?" Drunk: The
most dangerous and irrational type. Weekends always feature lots of cops on the road, but they also feature a lot of taxis. There's no reason to drive if you think there's any chance you're over the limit. The more passionately someone argues for why they should drive, the more likely it is that they shouldn't. I'll be the first to admit that I've been this drunk, and fortunately have had friends to restrain me (physically) from driving. The next morning, they got big hugs and a free brunch.
Bonus! Not a drunk but still annoying:
The "I'll leave the bartender a laughably small tip" drinker: These people would never dream of leaving a server at a restaurant less than 20 percent but will only tip a dollar -- or nothing -- on several drinks. Think of a bartender as both cook and waiter combined. He's not only serving your martini, he's making it. And if the bartender is really good, he's offering up some banter and a joke or two. Treat the bartender well and he'll treat you well.
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