Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The 20 food inventions that didn't further our existence

Posted by Jonathan Bender on Tue, Sep 1, 2009 at 12:16 PM

foodscience.090109.jpg

Food science in the hands of someone evil can be as devastating on your stomach as something off the Volcano menu at Taco Bell -- you know, the menu with the big signs proclaiming "the good hurt." Taco Bell isn't an emo ex-girlfriend. There is no good hurt in relation to that drive-thru.

Sloshspot has compiled a list of the "20 Food Innovations That We Could Have Done Without." In hitting a number of packaged food products and beverages, the list is a nice walk-through of the items that masqueraded as food over the past few decades.

Once again, food coloring is a direct indicator of a product's potential gross-out factor. It would appear as though color is offered in lieu of taste in the hopes that you'll be distracted enough to remember blue ketchup or french fries fondly the next time you're in the grocery store.

Although the McRib, Orbitz soda, and Goobers (a combination of jelly

and peanut butter in a single glass jar) were right to be included,

the folks at Sloshspot might have been a bit overzealous in their efforts to decry the

mistakes of food manufacturers. They knocked Oscar Meyer Cheesedogs and

Kerr's Heinz Ketchup potato chips.

Cheesedogs were not a

mistake. They are the kind of innovation for which it's worth

giving up some months at the end of your life. A cousin to the Jucy Lucy

cheeseburger made famous in Minneapolis, Minnesota, they make a

strong case that all of our cheese should be placed inside meats on the

grill.

As for ketchup potato chips, what's so wrong with just

increasing the number of flavors available? For all of our mastery of

eating chips, Americans have been sadly limited in the kinds of chips

made available to us. Kettle Foods can't do it on their own.

Perhaps Sloshspot might consider swapping in the Domino's Bread Bowl?

[Image via Flickr: Mike Licht]

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