Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Top 10 worst food spokesanimals to have as a pet

Posted By on Wed, Sep 16, 2009 at 12:00 PM

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With people keeping tigers in their apartments, a dog seems kind of passe. It did get Fat City thinking, though, and we figured we should issue a warning. Here are the 10 worst food spokesanimals to have as a pet.

10. Dig'em the Frog -- Kellogg's Honey Smacks. His catchphrase was "gimme a smack." This ball-cap-wearing frog was eminently smackable, but it's wrong to hit your pets. 
 
9. Cheesasaurus Rex --- Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Why bother with animals you'd have to reanimate from a mosquito in amber? Rex debuted in the beginning of this decade, and frankly, if you're going to have a T-Rex as a pet, it should be a lot cooler than a yellow Barney-esque dinosaur.  

8. Charlie the Tuna -- StarKist Tuna. One of the oldest mascots on the list, Charlie first appeared in 1961. You get the feeling he sold out the rest of the tuna so he could live on as a spokesman. Pets need to be loyal, but is Charlie? And the uncanny resemblance to Charles Nelson Reilly is not winning him any points either.  

7. Taco Bell Chihuahua. Stereotypes aside, have you ever seen what happens to your dog if it gets into a burrito of any kind? Besides, the Taco Bell dog is dead. What, too soon? 

6. Mr. Peanut -- Planter's nuts. For those who feel it isn't right to keep an animal in the home, the monocled Peanut might feel like the right way to go. However, the only people who have monocles are supervillains and eccentric millionaires. Would you really want one of them for a pet?

5. Sobe Lizard -- Sobe. Guys who have lizards as pets already face an uphill battle for acceptance. A dance-crazy lizard that loves extreme sports isn't helping the cause. Ultimately, this feels like a lizard that steals your car, wrecks it and then expects you to apologize for having a Honda.

4. Duke the dog --  Bush's Baked Beans. A dog that willingly entertains offers for your family's secret recipe defies the very nature of man's best friend. And he secretly talks. It makes you wonder if he is as foul-mouthed off camera as the baby from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  

3. Mr. Owl -- Tootsie Roll's Tootsie Pops. Any pet that eats your food is a jerk. If that same pet then reminds you of your stupidity for feeding it by taunting you -- it's closer to a gremlin than a mogwai.

2. Quiznos singing rodents -- Quiznos. The spongmonkeys appeared all bug-eyed and dressed in formal hats during the Super Bowl in 2006. Beyond their indeterminate species, their off-kilter, high-pitched singing of "We love the subs" was devastatingly catchy. The ugly factor combined with their ability to eliminate productivity would be a combo that few could overcome.  

1. Chester Cheetah -- Cheetos. It's

hard to get beyond the inappropriate wardrobe. A sentient cheetah that

opts for sunglasses and sneakers instead of pants seems wrong. Add a seemingly endless case of the munchies and you've basically got

your roommate from the second year of college, except he is carnivorous

and faster than you.

[Image via Southern Star Blue Grass]

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