I look at grocery-store lines like betting on horses. The goal is to pick the winning horse -- the line that moves the fastest. And when you get stuck behind someone who has neither her coupons nor checkbook ready, you picked a bad horse.
Now common sense would dictate that you head to the Express Line (12 items or less) even if there are more people there than in the traditional checkout lanes. You feel like the average transaction should be shorter and you'll be on your way faster. But if you do the math, according to blogger Dy/dan, any checkout lane with more people is likely to be the longer line, even if they have fewer items.
It's a fascinating mathematical breakdown of a very mundane thing -- the time it will take you to complete your grocery purchase. The key appears to be to look at people and not items in the cart:
When you add one person to the line, you're adding 48 extra seconds to the line length (that's "tender time" added to "other time") without even considering the items in her cart. Meanwhile, an extra item only costs you an extra 2.8 seconds. Therefore, you'd rather add 17 more items to the line than one extra person.Each person is potentially 48 seconds of additional wait time, and that doesn't even account for the person who can't figure out how to scan their credit card or needs a price check on bananas.
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hey,go easy on the guys who speak no english,we all look the same so 1 card per community is a way to go
The only person worse than the kid too young to scan booze is the new person who doesn't know any codes. This is a bit better now that a lot of them have computers with pictures for reference.
Now that I shop at a grocery store that seems to only serve middle-class whites, the line is hardly an issue at the grocery store. Sam's Club however, is the biggest cluster fuck that has ever existed. It's almost a lock that someone in front of you still uses a check book. The last time I went I was behind a guy who spoke no English and was trying to us a friend's member card.
The key is being able to read people quickly. Nobody likes to be stereotype others, but in all actuality it saves you a lot of time. I agree with TheDLC that the cashier is by far the most important factor in the speed at which a checkout line moves. I've got this smile theory. If the cashier is happy and smiling, then they like their job and are probably efficient. Don't confuse this with crazy smiley person, they will try to talk with you too much. The people in the lines are important too. See that lady with the container full of coupons? Avoid her at all costs. And I'm sorry, but old people can bring a checkout line to a halt faster than windshield stops a bug. If you have more than one child with you, I'm going to try to avoid your line. Kids can easily distract you from completing your checkout in a timely fashion. If I think you will be paying for your items with anything other than debit or credit I will try to avoid the line that you are in. Checks, cash and food stamps take longer to process. It usually takes me between 5 and 10 seconds to make a complete scan and decide what line I'll join. And inevitably there is some unforeseen occurrence that makes my line always stop in it's tracks.
I've found that the checkout person is by far the most important aspect of this equation. I avoid the crazies and the old people. Forget teenagers too since they may have to call someone over to scan all the booze I am inevitably buying. Years of this practice has made me an expert. The typical quick cashier is an African American female between the ages of 35 and 40.
Note: This technique does not apply at Whole Foods. Every single cashier is slow as fuck there.
I like people who complain about how long it takes to check out, but then stand there like a dipshit while they wait for the checker to finish scanning and start bagging. These are the same people who likely complain about the packing job when they get home to unpack.
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