It used to be that strawberry lip balm was a big deal. And when Chapstick introduced raspberry as an alternative, watch out. Also, a potentially disproportionate number of middle school girls enjoyed eating watermelon lip gloss -- perhaps that's why it's not seen so often these days? But now generic fruit flavors seem passe in light of an army of food-flavored lip balms that sound remarkably unappetizing.
Apparently junk food is no longer for just inside your mouth. There's corn dog lip balm, which "will keep your lips plump and moist just like a hot dog inside that delicious fried corn bread batter." And Twinkie'-flavored lip balm -- on sale, no less. Chocolate and gummy lovers can purchase everything from Reese's Peanut Butter Cup flavor to Bubble Yum-inspired lip balm. But sadly, it appears as though Cheetos-flavored lip balm has been discontinued.
Most of these flavors are from the Lotta Luv company. They are the Vegas of lip balm
companies, faithfully recreating remarkably realistic
representations of fake flavors. The snozzberries taste like
snozzberries when produced by Lotta Luv.
And this list, as all lists seem to do these days, ends with something bacon-flavored
-- which according to the reviews on Amazon (many of them clearly comedic
efforts) has cured bacon addiction and helped convert a vegan
fiance to eating bacon for breakfast.
All of which just makes me
feel bad for middle schoolers today. It was hard enough kissing a girl
with watermelon lip gloss, let alone somebody who smells like a corn
[Image via Flickr: antisocial tory]