I will let it be known publicly that I'm a sucker for infomercials. I've been a QVC member for close to a decade. I have bought the Egg Wave -- a plastic basket for microwaving eggs -- and the shammy. I've even watched PitchMen, the reality show based on the life of the late Billy Mays. The irony in the fact that someone's managed to develop and sell a television show about sales-based television shows is not lost on me, yet I'm still sucked into the quick patter of the professional pitch men.
I've been all too close to pulling the trigger on roasters, choppers and pasta pots. But the one product that has always stood above the rest is the Magic Bullet: "the personal, versatile countertop magician." It's a blender with a series of blade and storage attachments that draws its name from its conical shape.
In my opinion, the Magic Bullet's claim to fame is that it's the subject of the finest infomercial filmed to date. Set in a studio kitchen, it features a motley collection of guests family confused commercial participants, each of whom is given a name and a different food craving (smoothies to omelets).
My favorite character is Hazel -- who rocks a muu-muu and a stage cigarette with fake ash -- and apparently loves muffins. Meanwhile, the pitch man offers up "natch-os," chicken salad and freshly made salsa -- all in less than 10 minutes.
I've followed the commercial to the letter by using the Magic Bullet to make lumpy sauce and lumpy guacamole. The flavors are fine, it's just the texture that can leave something to be desired. However, the Magic Bullet's rumbling, rotary blades have one constant use in the Bender household: It's our coffee grinder.
It has stood the test of three moves. Because if I've learned anything from watching infomercials, it's that rather than have one item that can do everything, I'll settle for a product that can actually do one thing.
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