Thursday, December 31, 2009

Hot Pants Birthday! Studies in Crap presents the 1972 diary of a Catholic high school girl

Posted By on Thu, Dec 31, 2009 at 6:00 AM

Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.


Author: Teen diarist Terri, a student at St. Thomas Aquinas

Date: 1972

Discovered at: Unsorted box buried deep in a Westport estate-sale basement

The Cover Promises: "1/2 Frosh Year + Soph Summer"

Representative Quote:

  • "Now I have $5.10, enough to buy a pair of earrings and Super Sheer. Well, this week has been cold and exciting because I wondered all week if I had a boyfriend or not." (January 18)

Your Crap Archivist admits that he has on occasion picked through the private journals of young girls. That said, my privacy-invading has never before sunk me as low as it did a couple weeks back when, on my knees in a mildewed basement, I found myself jimmying the lock of a Catholic school girl's diary. Turns out, Jimmying isn't my thing. The lock popped off, and this chilling message greeted me from inside the diary's cover:

"No one if I can help it will never flip through the preceding pages."

The author continues in this vein:

"I will never quote what is in the preceding pages to anyone NEVER."

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Press conference on potential release of convicted cop-shooter

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 5:38 PM

Saeed Aquil
  • Saeed Aquil

Jackson County Prosecutor Jim Kanatzar held a press conference today to protest the potential parole of Saeed Aquil.

On New Year's Eve in 1994, Kansas City Police Department officers Patrick Brown and Larry Schoen spotted 25-year-old Aquil and 13-year-old Jason Rushing near 37th and Prospect and pulled over to conduct a pedestrian check. "We just wanted to ask some questions," Brown said at the press conference. "He would have been on his way in five minutes."

Instead, Aquil ran. When the officers pursued him on foot, he ducked around a building and waited. Brown reached him first. Aquil turned and fired the .9 milimeter gun he'd been concealing under his jacket, hitting Brown in the chest at close range. Aquil then fired at Schoen, hitting him in the right hip and left thigh. Both officers returned fire, and Aquil fell in the street at 37th and Prospect, where he was arrested by officers responding to the scene.

Both officers recovered from their injuries. Schoen is still with the KCPD. Brown, who left the force five years after the incident, told the assembled reporters and photographers, "I believe [Aquil's] motive was to kill a police officer that night, or someone else." 

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Remembering 2009 and wishing you a happy 2010

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 4:37 PM

​It has been a great year at Fat City and I'm glad to have been at the helm since July.

Since taking over for Owen "Steel Gullet" Morris -- I sampled more than a dozen tacos in the quest to put together our first Top 10 list -- only weeks after more spoonfuls of baked beans than I thought possible. I can only hope that we continue to expand the gustatory limits in 2010.

Another of my favorite stories came via Boulevard Brewery, when Eric Henry returned a 12-pack of wheat from the brewery's first run after keeping it for 19 years. Henry, co-owner of the City Cement Construction Company on Southwest Boulevard, only wanted to see a piece of his neighbor's history come home.

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He Who Shall Not Be Named's latest plea for attention

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 4:00 PM

This huge media whore in Kansas just announced the protest of Lady Gaga's sold out Jan. 7 show in St. Louis. Wow. What a shock.


News like this presents a problem. On the one hand, He Who Shall Not Be Named doesn't deserve the attention he so obviously craves by making grand and vicious proclamations about any flavor of the month he thinks will get him in the headlines. On the other hand, if you do have tickets to this show, you deserve advance warning this dude and his clan of desperate, sad people will probably be parading out front. Treat them as you would a total eclipse of the sun and just don't look.

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Killa City: Homicide No. 110 victim is Dwight Gibson

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 3:15 PM

Dwight Gibson
  • Dwight Gibson

Police have identified Dwight Gibson, 37, as the man who was shot to death in last night's incident on the 5900 block of Cypress Place.

Another man believed to be involved in the shooting was treated for a gunshot wound. His identity has not been released.

No suspects have been charged in connection with the crime. Police are asking anyone with information to call the TIPS Hotline at 816-474-TIPS.

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The morning after the New Year's Eve debauchery

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 3:14 PM

Start 2010 with a bowl of steaming tripe!
It's not particularly known as a hangover cure, but someone, somewhere is going to wake up on New Year's Day with his or her skull just pounding -- and craving a pig foot and a bottle of beer. You know what I mean? Some people eat before they fall asleep from a night of liquor-fueled hoopla, but trust me, that can have potentially dangerous consequences; there's nothing quite as distasteful as vomiting up a bucket o' spicy chicken wings and a box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes -- on your brand new comforter, no less -- at 5 a.m. After that kind of gut-churning ordeal, 2010 has no where to go but down.

The right way to start the New Year is to wake up early enough to eat a hearty breakfast loaded with foods legendary for their curative powers. Like menudo, the spicy Mexican tripe soup with chili peppers and hominy (there's often a calf's foot in there too, but not a handful of cute singing teenage boys). Poco's on the Boulevard, which re-opened as a Mexican buffet in September (although owner Lorenza "Poco" Guiterrrez continues to serve from the menu too, including those good old Waids-style malted waffles) will be open on New Year's Day, offering a big vat of fiery menudo on the breakfast buffet.

Waffles may not be the ultimate hangover-relief breakfast unless they're blanketed with butter. The secret, you see, is the grease. A breakfast rich in butter and bacon fat is a sure-fire way to stabilize the head-clanging dizziness of the morning after. If you're thinking of the venerable Village Inn, you can follow up a cholesterol-laden cheese omelette, buttered toast, bacon and sausage with a hefty slab of Caramel Pecan Silk Supreme Pie. It's open from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. -- so go ahead, sleep in, eat later!


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Killa City: The KCPD's new tool in the fight against violent crime

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 2:32 PM

In the early morning hours on Sept. 30, 2009, SWAT teams readied themselves to kick in the front doors of some of the city's worst drug houses.
On their heels were a cadre of detectives from the Kansas City Police Department and lawmen from six federal agencies. At the SWAT team's all-clear, they were prepared to storm in and serve the pile of arrest warrants they'd amassed since January.

It was the beginning of a three-day violent crime sweep, one of KCPD's new tools in the fight against the city's murder rate.

By early fall of this year, 89 people had died violently within the city limits, according to KCPD records. Since then, police have slowed -- but not stopped -- the flow of homicides: 21 more people have been killed since that morning in late September.  As of today, 2009 ends with 13 percent fewer killings than last year -- but still a 17 percent increase over 2007.

KCPD brass hatched the plan in August 2008 -- right around the time The Pitch took on the Killa City project. Summertime violence had escalated into a blood bath, primarily on the east side. With 22 homicides -- nearly one per day -- it was the single deadliest month in a decade. Four months later, a two-day sweep, the first of its kid, netted 108 arrests on 138 warrants.

View KCPD Violent Crime Sweep zones in a larger map

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A whole host -- and hostess -- of problems

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 2:14 PM

Diana Monarrez is a hostess with the mostest
​If you've worked in the restaurant industry for any length of time, you've probably done a stint as a host or hostess in a dining room, a job distinctly more difficult than it may appear. My friend Lorraine calls the job "working the book," since juggling the requirements and demands of the reservation book is no simple task. Like everything connected with the hosting duties -- particularly in very busy corporate restaurants -- it can be stressful, even slightly dangerous (I've known hosts and hostesses who were threatened by angry diners). To say the very least: it's a job that looks so effortless, but involves a lot more than just greeting the patrons, although that's one of the most important tasks and one that a lot of young men and women in the business today utterly disregard.

"The host or hostess immediately sets the tone for the entire evening," says my friend Truman, a 25-year veteran of the restaurant business. "If you step into a restaurant and you're not immediately greeted warmly by the person at the front desk or -- even worse -- met with a frosty reception or haughtiness, your mood is soured right away. It can take a good server the rest of the night to turn that perception around."

A friend of mine who recently took a second job working as a host in one of the Plaza's busiest dining venues was stunned by what he's learned working behind the hostess desk. He assumed the job would be relatively simple. You greet guests and show them to their tables, right?

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Throwback MP3 of the Week: Anal Magic & Rev. Dwight Frizzell, "Black crack and the sole survivors"

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 2:10 PM

For those of you unfamiliar with the Reverend Dwight Frizzell, he's the front man for long-running world-beat crazies Black Crack Revue. Prior to BCR's formation in the early '80s, he recorded the album Beyond the Black Crack, which is crazy rare and obscure.


It's regarded as "a pre-cursor to the mayhem of the Sun City Girls and Nurse With Wound," and it's a tape-splicing bit of insanity. If you can handle the idea of Sun Ra and Negativland playing simultaneously on two stereos on opposite sides of the room, while you sit in between them, tweaked to the gills on cough syrup (daytime and nighttime), then you should be good to listen to this.

Everyone else might want to take a moment.

You can get the whole story over at Paradigm Discs.

BCR is also playing shows down at the new R Bar on Genessee.

Throwback MP3 of the Week: Anal Magic & Rev. Dwight Frizzell, "Black crack and the sole survivors"

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Video+MP3: DJ Earworm, "United States of Pop 2009 (Blame It On the Pop"

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 2:00 PM

The top 25 Billboard hits of 2009, mashed, cut, and otherwise messed the hell up in just under five minutes. Nice job there, DJ Earworm. The list of all the songs is after the jump, but you can always try and guess.

Although, really -- I only knew about half. Why? Because I write about music on the Internet, and live in comic shops and record stores. My awareness of what's popular amongst the hoi polloi is limited to what I hear in gas stations and coming out of my kids' rooms.

MP3: DJ Earworm, "United States of Pop 2009 (Blame It On the Pop)"

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