It's not every day that your editor asks you what food in Kansas City would yield the best results if placed inside a cannon and fired at him. Inspired by the viral sensation of watching hipsters in Portland pelted with a cupcake cannon -- hipster lovers and haters can rejoice at the baked-goods carnage -- I put together a list of potential projectiles.
While I don't yet possess an air cannon, I've got a feeling if I called Stretch over at Grinders he could solve that half of the equation. As for my food-based cannonballs, the candidates follow:
Sweet Guy Italian Ice Cream -- 24 flavors means that we'll have ammo the color of the rainbow, and ice cream's softness guarantees a certain splat factor.
Garozzo's Ristorante Meatballs -- These might be the closest to actual cannonballs in Kansas City. They could add the element of danger or at least take a hipster down a peg.
The Farmhouse Pulled Pork Sliders -- These would begin to break apart in midair, assuming they weren't all eaten before they could be loaded into the cannon.
Jerry's Woodswether Cafe Coconut Cream Pie -- You can't top the classic of a pie in the face, and Jerry's huge slices would have a dramatic, albeit delicious, impact.
Lidia's Pasta Trio -- It's a bottomless trio of pasta, meaning they would keep bringing you pasta for the cannon until the target cried "uncle." In addition, you could always follow it up with a salvo of tiramisu.
Einstein Bros. Bagel Dogs -- I believe these were initially designed to be shot out of a food cannon and weren't meant for human consumption.
Image via L Magazine.