Monday, May 17, 2010

Dewmocracy: The green, the bad, and the bubbly

Posted by Jonathan Bender on Mon, May 17, 2010 at 2:00 PM

White Out, Typhoon and Distortion are all vying to be the next permanent flavor of Mountain Dew.
  • White Out, Typhoon and Distortion are all vying to be the next permanent flavor of Mountain Dew.

It's been said that if you gave monkeys enough time on a typewriter, they would eventually produce Shakespeare. Swap out monkeys for the crowd on the Internet and that's the latest strategy for Pepsi's MTN Dew brand (which is so extreme, the Mountain can no longer be spelled out). Fans have designed the advertising, packaging and fruit combinations for the Dewmocracy campaign's three new flavors.

MTN Dew Typhoon, Distortion and White Out are the three choices vying to be added to the MTN Dew lineup, alongside the previous Dewmocracy winner, Mountain Dew Voltage. As of Sunday, the Internet crowd believed that White Out (43 percent) was the best choice, followed by Typhoon (39 percent) and Distortion (18 percent). Voting ends at midnight on June 14.

I found all three at the Circle K gas station at 7447 State Line, but I'll admit I didn't have particularly good feelings about any of them after my experiment last year with Mountain Dew Voltage. The cashier told me she liked all three, although the Distortion flavor "tasted too lime-y, like a lime pop."
 

It's okay, you can drink this White Out.
  • It's okay, you can drink this White Out.

White Out is made for fans of Fresca. The pearly white pop described as "smooth citrus," tastes like a mix of the grapefruit soda combined with the white part of a Bomb Pop. It's also the first soda that made me feel old -- thanks, Pepsi. In just two decades, white out has gone from an indispensable correction fluid to an edgy soda. Thankfully the repurposed brand name is significantly tastier than its office supply counterpart.

There's a reason you don't want a Typhoon in your mouth.
  • There's a reason you don't want a Typhoon in your mouth.
Clever word play on soda labels bothers me, and so the Typhoon's promise of "a punch of tropical dew" is a good indicator that my stomach won't appreciate what is about to happen. The melon-candy-colored soda smells like fruit gum and Jolly Ranchers slapped together. The taste is that of a Watermelon Jolly Rancher -- unforgivingly sweet in a manner that sticks to your cheeks. There's a reason that Jolly Ranchers are a hard candy and not in liquid form -- Typhoon is that reason. 
Do not adjust your screen, Distortion is this green.
  • Do not adjust your screen, Distortion is this green.
The color of antifreeze, Distortion is the greenest drink I've seen since Ecto Cooler. The cashier wasn't lying. It tasted like Mountain Dew and 7-Up -- the traditional citrus taste followed by a pretty strong lime kick. As soon as I started alternating sips, the lime flavor was even more pronounced -- similar to the effect of eating a few Tostitos hint-of-lime chips in a row. Still, it's hard not to enjoy drinking a soda the color of an inanimate carbon rod.

White Out got my vote on the Internet and Distortion is suprisingly drinkable. The only one to avoid is Typhoon. After all, typhoons don't naturally occur in Kansas City and the artificial version is just as out of place.

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that green one reminds me (visually) of Green River, a soda that I enjoyed as a young'n, but don't know if it ever made it to these parts. It was mighty tasty to my 8-year-old palate.

Best Mountain dew flavor: Code Red

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Posted by Carlton Mitchell on 05/18/2010 at 11:46 AM
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