Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Perhaps the greatest food discovery since nacho cheese

Posted By on Tue, Jul 20, 2010 at 8:15 AM

click to enlarge You no longer have to fear Hot Pockets.
  • You no longer have to fear Hot Pockets.

Until now there's been no way to avoid volcano mouth, wherein the molten-hot center of whatever frozen pocket-burrito-egg-roll eviscerates your tongue and the roof of your mouth upon the first bite.

Hot Pockets are the modern Sword of Damocles. The gushy interior has a half-life that demands it be eaten before it cools. But the window for avoiding the searing hot of nuclear cheese is impossibly small. However, one Serious Eats reader believes he has discovered the secret to safely consuming frozen, cheese-filled food.

It was a comment on a piece about Totino's Pizza Rolls -- tiny, greasy pockets that claim the tastebuds and hearts of middle school students and drunk hipsters across America. Reader LLToddJ shares his trick:

"OK, heres the trick to eating them. Cook until they are starting to burst, that ensures a quality 'crispness.' Pick up a single pizza role [sic] by a corner with your fingers, then bite off all other exposed corners. Finally, blow into one of the newly opened corners and heat will get forced out the other corners. You can then eat immediately. Enjoy."
Substitute a knife for your mouth and you've suddenly got a foolproof way to eliminate volcano mouth. Without its corners to trap heat, a Hot Pocket is powerless.

I cut the corners off a frozen burrito last night to see if this actually worked. And whether it was just the delay of monkeying with the burrito or the process, I avoided scalding the roof of my mouth. The interior was still warm. Although I would recommend only cutting off two corners on the top, in order to avoid the inevitable goosh out the bottom. I lost a lot of filling that didn't have to be lost.

So feel free to drunkenly fire up some toasted ravioli. It can't hurt you anymore.  

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